The rose and the sunflower.
The girl with the golden eyes and the boy with a golden heart.
The girl that believed love was just a fairytale and the boy that believed fairytales are just stories waiting to come true.
'I used to think love was a point...
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Truly, I have never been so happy to get away from home. Between Aunt Heather being away in New York until April 3rd and Mason going out to God knows where every night, I've been pretty lonely.
At the ass crack of dawn I began my two hour journey from London to Birmingham. I'm supposed to be spending two nights with my cousin and her husband there in celebration of his birthday. During my time there, I'm also going to see the boys, but they don't know that yet.
The entire drive up I spent in deep thought whilst soft music played on the radio, serving as background noise. I couldn't help it, my thoughts were consumed by this boy. Consumed by how I'm going to see him again soon. Consumed by what I'm going to say to him when emerald eyes meet hazel. And consumed by the fact that I shouldn't feel like this about him when I have someone else.
But do I even have him?
About a week ago I had a breakdown. I've been starting to get more suspicious of Mason cheating on me. He called me, drunk as fuck might I add, and he called me Becky. That's when I realised he obviously didn't even mean to dial my number. That call, him asking if I - well whoever the Becky bitch is that he meant to call - would meet him back at his place, really set in stone the cheating suspicions.
Due to this, my mind and heart don't seem to want anyone else anymore. All I can keep thinking is why did I even get into this relationship to begin with? God. I know I don't want Mason anymore, but I don't know exactly what I want. Did I even want him to begin with?
From the start, I knew I had feelings for Harry, I just kind of hoped that being with Mason would help get rid of them. It worked for the first month of being with him, then he started getting more distant and left me with more time to dwell on Harry.
I can't even end things with Mason because he barely gives me the time of day anymore. Everytime I call him, he's "busy" and says he'll call me back. Guess what? He never does. And for every call that he doesn't return is a call that I spend talking to the boy who now consumes my every thought.
The thought of breaking up with him over text has crossed my mind but I decided against it because knowing Mason, he'll ignore it and then drive over to my house to try and win me back. I have to do it in person.
About forty minutes were left of the drive and I felt physically sick because of my internal battle with the Mason situation. I had to stop thinking about him so what did I do? I thought about Harry and Harry only.
The simple thought of his sparkling eyes and soft, curly brown hair was enough to bring a smile to my face. My smile only grew the more I thought of him. All of our memories together will probably always be cherished by me. Our first Christmas that we all spent together and he remembered that conversation about the guitar. That time he gave me a meaningless hickey so we could trick our friends. He told me that he knows I enjoyed it, like he read my mind and spoke my thoughts.
