SPASE

SPASE: CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

Maddie's body convulses. They quickly sit up, gasping and grabbing for air to breathe.

It wasn't real. It wasn't real. It wasn't real, Reynolds relays as he paws my shoulder.

"I need to go back I need to help!" Maddie stands up screaming.

You're alright, honey bear. You're alright. Breathe, Reynolds says as he gets up from a sitting position.

Reynolds positions his paw on my leg as Maddie stands in the moist grass, unable to move... unable to breathe. Maddie struggles to find their breath, let alone catch it. The dream seems more than real. Melissa is real. The scenario is so real. Tears stream down their face, sliding over the curvature of their cheeks and drip off of their round chin, disappearing like they don't exist. Maddie looks into Reynolds' chestnut brown eyes for comfort. They try to reach for it, they really do, but the color just reminds them of Mel's hair. On the first deep breath in, Maddie swears they smell her vanilla oatmeal shampoo.

We need to keep moving, Reynolds relayed as Maddie starts to breathe on their own without the life-support of his comfort.

"Keep going? Keep going? Honestly, I hated my life to the point where I'd rather be anywhere else but home, but Melissa... she makes it worth being there," Maddie admits. "She gives me hope that somewhere, somehow, someone would eventually understand me. Like really get me for the mess I am on the inside."

Anger fills their stomach and their head instantly feels hot.

"Can't I just go home? Wake up? Why do I have to be the Guide anyway?" Maddie states, throwing their hands in the air and stomping their right foot in rage. Maddie bellows a deep scream that appears to be the growl of a demon; an inner demon that needs to be realized. Maddie begins to sob uncontrollably, letting out cries Reynolds never knew they had. They bend over, resting their hands on her knees and dry heaves.

Reynolds peers at me and doesn't say anything. When Maddie stops coughing, they hear the crickets in the fields singing their song, letting them know the night is upon them. Only in Spase, the night is always upon them.

You can't, Reynolds speaks.

"What do you mean, 'I can't?' I'm not fucking dead!" Maddie yells. "I'm not fucking dead, so I shouldn't be stuck here!"

Watch your tongue, darlin,' Reynolds says as he lets out a low growl. I'm here to help you.

"Help me? Help me?! How is any of this helping me? I just want to wake up, you know, go back, finish this high school bullshit and move on with my life. Get far the fuck away from Dad and just move on with Melissa!" Maddie professes.

Maddie feels their heart beating faster and the anger growing thicker inside of them. Reynolds looks off in the distance, calm as ever.

You're not dead, but you are stuck. You feel like you need to run in order to get the life that you want. If you can't be yourself everywhere and around anyone, are you living? Are you living if you are running?

Maddie is silent. He has a point.

"But I'm not running! I just want to live the life I want without..."

Without what? Reynolds interrupts. There's always going to be someone or something that will try to bring you down, honey. It's about how you stay strong and deal with it. That's what you need to realize. That's what you need to learn. That's why you can't go back.

Maddie doesn't have anything to say. Reynolds is right. Something seems as though it is always lurking in the shadows, waiting to pounce at the precise moment just when everything is glued together perfectly, but still drying. It pounces and tears everything to pieces all over again. It is the never-ending cycle of life apparently and Reynolds knows it and he is a freaking dog. The only thing that Maddie needs to learn is how to stand up, brush off the mud, and keep trying to breathe.

Maddie's heart slows, realizing reality the best they could. They let out a sigh mixed with frustration and closes their eyes. Out of nowhere, the tips of Maddie's fingers become numb with electricity.

"Did I rub them on my pants funny?" They wonder to themselves.

Maddie opens their eyes to a mist peeking at them from around the sunflower stems, afraid to show who he or she truly is. Maddie turns their head to look at Reynolds and they make eye contact. Reynolds gives them a nod as if to relay that they better get their ass moving to try to help. Rolling their eyes and not fully ready to help another being, Maddie follows the entity into the flowers. Reynolds follows in toe and howls to get them where they need to be.