The air in Maddie's hospital room reeks of bleach with a hint of lavender. It is more disinfectant than anything. Maddie smells it through their nostrils. It burns, although they lie there, motionless and unable to leave the stench. They look down at their own body from the ceiling. This time it appears they are ghosting as a spectator.
Melissa realizes that all hospitals smell the same. She sits and waits, rocking like a metronome in the corner of the room. She slouches in the chair in a trance. She knows not to sit there and expect a miracle. She doesn't want to be disappointed by a miracle that never comes.
Maddie just can't get over how beautiful she looks. They notice her eye is healed. She looks exhausted but beautiful in every way possible.
Maddie's physical mouth hangs open.
Their chest rises up and down. Up and down. The same beeping from the machines that's been happening for the past four weeks played like a song that would never end. Maddie can't believe how dead they look.
"How can Melissa stand to look at me like this?" Maddie thinks. "I'm so fucking embarrassed."
Like time hasn't passed, Maddie lies back in the same position. All of the pressure on the tailbone will cause a breakdown in the skin, leaving Maddie with open wounds. Melissa can't imagine how painful they must be. And she doesn't want to know.
Only Maddie knows.
Melissa looks into her lap and traces the edges of an envelope with her index finger. She observes the letters, slowly reading to herself over and over who the letter is for and where it came from.
To: Madeline A. Schude
306 5th Ave SW
Cascade, IA 52033
From: Rhode Island School of Design
Admissions Department
Woods-Gerry House
62 Prospect St.
Providence, RI 02906
It is the letter Maddie's been waiting for. It holds the answer if they have a ticket out of town and away from the little town of Cascade, her dad, and her past. They could start fresh and choose who they want to be. No one knows them in Rhode Island.
Maddie notices what's in her hand and stops breathing. They want to reach into the scene. They want to go back into their body and say something. Anything. They can't wait another minute. They want to know what's in the envelope.
Melissa's fingers still outline the edge of the envelope and its words. She looks at Maddie and back at the envelope.
"Open it!" Maddie screams, anxious and waiting for the words that will essentially determine the future.
"Er... um... I know that it is a federal offense to open someone else's mail, but I figure that you won't mind, giving the circumstances," Melissa says quietly, ripping the edge of the letter to open it. She looks at Maddie's body, opens the trip-fold letter, and begins reading, half mumbling to herself.
"... After careful review of your portfolio, we wish to congratulate and welcome you into the class of 2022's Bachelor of Fine Arts Film/Animation/Video program..." Melissa emphasizes and continues to shout as she finishes reading the letter.
"Holy shit," Maddie thinks. "I did it."
"Maddie! You're in! You got in!" Melissa screams, jumping out of the rocking chair and running to hold Maddie's hand at her bedside, stroking their forearm with her other hand.
YOU ARE READING
SPASE
FantasíaSeventeen-year-old non-binary artist, Maddie, wrestles their own personal demons every day: an alcoholic father, a dead mother, bullies, and their impending future. They have their friends, Nick and Melissa, for support but something is still missin...
