SPASE

SPASE: CHAPTER THIRTY

Like Logan, Maddie and Reynolds aren't sure whether either soul had been through the Final Transition or transitioned back to Earth to meet the world as something new. Either way, both get a new chance at a fresh start. Logan and Parker get a new opportunity to make their own happiness.

Maddie and Reynolds stand in the bathroom. The tile on the floors is still a solid white marble and the stalls still pink like Momma's pink wintergreen lozenges that she used to have hanging around.

"What do we do now?" Maddie questions, placing their hands on their hips. They pace back and forth on the tile, leaving light dirt marks in toe. Maddie doesn't seem to notice because their brain is stuck on something else: something big.

Are you happy? Reynolds asks.

Maddie turns and looks at me in bewilderment.
"Define 'happy'...and I thought that you knew everything," Maddie teases.

You know... are you happy in Spase. Now that we've helped some souls and all, Reynolds answers.

Maddie walks over to a sink and turns it on. They look up at themselves in the mirror. Dirt has accumulated on their yellow dress, the sleeve dubbing a tear at the shoulder seam. Maddie gives themselves a bit of a smile. They go to place their hands under the running faucet, but stops, quickly shutting off the water before touching it.

"Yes," Maddie states. "I am happy. Honestly, happier than I've been in a long time. Something clicked."

Reynolds slowly slinks over to where Maddie is standing and rubs his wet nose against their bare calf.

Come doll, let's get you back, Reynolds relays.

"Back?"

Back to the sunflowers...

Without questioning, Maddie places their hands behind Reynolds's ears and massages. Reynolds starts with a low growl and turns it into a howl. Reynolds closes his eyes and imagines them home. Home, where the lavender and lilacs grow. Home, where there's always a ball to chase. Home: their safe place.

Their minds and bodies float like dandelions back to the place where it all began. Only it's different.

They don't travel to the sunflowers. Instead, they are in a hell where Maddie lives every day...

Their high school.

Maddie's face flushes as they look down the long hallway lined with teal lockers. They peer at the set of lockers to their left and casually go over to rest their hand on the grate of the locker. With their pudgy fingers, they strum the grate, making the locker give off a metallic hum. Turning to stare back at Reynolds, Maddie scoffs and ticks through their teeth.

"I thought we were going back," Maddie whimpers, "back to the flowers."

I thought we could make a pit stop, Reynolds answers.

Reynolds reads Maddie's face and knows that being in a school setting makes them uncomfortable. They fidget, keeping their hands busy by tapping them on the sides of their thighs as they look around.

"What are we freaking waiting for? Why are we at Cedar Hill? We're not back in reality... you're still here."

We're not. We're in Spase, Reynolds relays, cutting them off.

Maddie pauses. "But... well," they stutter and look around, "why is this school's floor plan the exact same? Why the hell are we here?"

Reynolds sees the fire building inside Maddie. As they roam the halls, Maddie scoffs off and on. He feels their anxiousness as a buzzing sensation that's coursing through his veins.

"You know, I fucking hate school. Even back before the accident," Maddie admits.

Reynolds doesn't say anything back.

"So, someone's here that we need to help transition, right?" Maddie says to the ceiling.

Reynolds continues to walk down the long hallway. Maddie knows that he has someone in mind for them to help.

Maddie peers into a locker. Empty. It's eerie and completely quiet.

"How did you and Momma meet?" Maddie says out of nowhere. "I know that she rescued you from the shelter when you were an adult dog. How did you get there in the first place?"

Maddie asking the question is like someone promising Reynolds a treat for coming inside from the backyard and not giving it to him; something that he'll constantly be waiting for even if he knows it's not coming.

Hesitantly, Reynolds tells his story.

Bend down, love, Reynolds relays. Instead of telling you, I'm going to show you.

Reluctant, Maddie stops walking and crouches next to him, placing their head closer to Reynolds' as if he is about to whisper a secret to them. Reynolds squints his eyes and leans his head against Maddie's forehead.

With their heads joined, Reynolds pushes his past memories into theirs. Flashes of images. Flashes of abandonment, of loneliness. Extreme hunger and thirst. Images of heroes and halls of dogs and people passing by. The image of Momma's face and her embrace. Tears swell in Maddie's eyes as they allow these memories to ingrain in their being.

And then, she took me home, Reynolds relays to Maddie. She worked at the shelter that I was staying at and we clicked one day when she was volunteering to walk dogs because not enough volunteers came in that day.

Reynolds closes his eyes to see if he can catch a quick glimpse of Momma. Reynolds tries day after day to reach her on her plane, but being that he hasn't been through the Final Transition, he can't get to her. Reynolds shuts his eyes tighter and pushes his snout into the air, attempting to smell Momma's lavender shampoo again.

Maddie stares at Reynolds with tears in their eyes. They're completely still as if they've seen a ghost.

You okay, darlin'? Reynolds states.

Maddie collapses on the hard floor and breaks into a million pieces. Just like Logan, Maddie broke down into the fetal position, covering their face with their hands. Reynolds slowly trots in their direction, Reynolds aching along the way.

"I miss her so much," Maddie cries. "I understand you now." Uncovering their face, they stare deep into Reynolds' eyes. Reynolds lays down next to Maddie, nuzzling underneath their chin. They take a hand and scratch his neck. Reynolds' fur is prickling Maddie something fierce, but they don't want him to move.

"I've been angry for years... years. You abandoned me after Momma died. You couldn't live without her and didn't even try to live. You stayed curled up in her bed for weeks, barely coming into the kitchen to eat. I had to hand feed you... do you remember that?" Maddie asks.

Reynolds is silent. How could he forget?

"But now, I understand. I understand why you couldn't live without her. She was the love of your life," Maddie states under her breath.

Quickly, Reynolds sits up and relays, I love and loved you too.

"I know that you do," Maddie empathically says in a velvet voice. "But she was your person. When you lose your person, your world collapses. That's how I feel without Melissa. That's how I feel because she is back in reality without me, not knowing if I'm going to ever wake up."

Maddie sits on the floor next to Reynolds, petting the section of fur between his eyes.

The sound of soft footsteps fills Reynolds's long, smooth ears. Maddie jumps up from the floor, startled. In the doorway to the nearest classroom, stands a guy. He's tall and muscular with black dreads hanging just below his shoulders. His tight jeans hug his hips and his football jersey is formfitting across his chest. Awkwardly, he looks both ways and then locks eyes with Maddie.

Reynolds tail begins to wag back and forth... back and forth...

Maddie and Reynolds stand frozen and exchange thoughts.

I think we found who we're here for, Reynolds exclaims.