SPASE

SPASE: CHAPTER FORTY-ONE

Melissa sits in next to Maddie, still holding their hand. The monotonous beeping from the heart monitor holds steady. Melissa observes Maddie's face, noticing the curves of their face, their plump, pale lips, and how their eyelashes would make most envious. Melissa wishes that her eyelashes were like theirs. Melissa notices that one of those eyelashes has fallen and sits on Maddie's pale cheek. Melissa removes it with her index finger, looks at it, and blows it as a child blows the seeds off of a dandelion. She makes a wish.

A wish Maddie would wake up.

Maddie's being stands in the corner of the room near the doorway.

They wish they would wake up too.

Melissa strokes Maddie's cheek with her hand then leans in a gently kisses them, lingering as she takes in the baby soap smell of their oily hair. The nurses gave them a sponge bath this morning and washed their hair with that dry shampoo stuff. Touched by Melissa's dedication, Maddie smiles and gives a sigh of relief.

"At least someone gives a fuck," Maddie thinks.

"Come back to me," Melissa whispers into Maddie's ear. "We need more time. You need more time. You need to show the world all of your beauty, both inside and out."

Melissa isn't aware that Frank is watching them from just outside the door. Even after overhearing their previous conversation.

Frank can't hear what Melissa is saying. Frank wishes he could stretch his hearing capacity. His eyebrows furrow at the thought that there could be something more to their relationship.

"Is there something going on between you and Maddie?" he asks, startling Melissa and making her jump.

"Um, yeah," Maddie thinks to themselves as their being walks closer to Melissa sitting in the chair. Their steps are undetectable. Maddie waits to hear what she has to say.

Melissa looks at Frank and realizes that he witnessed her kissing Maddie on the cheek. Maddie stares at them both, leans against the wall, and watches it all unfold. She thinks about what Maddie would tell him. Hell, at that point they wouldn't tell him shit, but would probably just leave. Melissa can't do that. Something within her bounds to Frank now that they've talked at the hospital. They share a connection.

They both love and care about Maddie.

At least two of them believe that.

"Since we seem to both be telling the truth today, I might as well be honest," she states.

"Why wouldn't you be honest with me, girl?" Frank scolds.

Melissa tilts her head and crosses her arms in front of her chest. "Yes, I love Maddie."

Frank looks at Melissa in the eyes searching for some truth. His eyebrows are squeezed together, not in anger but in wonder.

"In what way?" he questions.

"Here it goes," Maddie chuckles.

Melissa lets out a chuckle.

Great minds must think alike.

"In what way? What do you mean? You either love someone or you don't. But yeah, I love Maddie. They are amazing; funny, beautiful, talented... they are everything."

Frank walks over to Melissa and places his hand on her shoulder.

"I've noticed that you've been here just about every day, well, at least that's what the Doc tells me. They say you hold Maddie's hand, sing, and talk to them like they're here. They say you're not going to give up."

Melissa looks at Frank with tears in her eyes. Her face is beet red. She is trying to hold in truth, emotion, and love. She's afraid of what will happen if she lets it loose. Melissa wonders if it will spill all over the floor like a sink that had sprung a leak, unable to be cleaned up easily. She doesn't know if it could ever be cleaned up, not really anyway.

Maddie stands in awe, witnessing this moment.

"I don't know you and every time I met you, you were drunk, mean, hostile toward Maddie. They're a wonderful person, you know? I do love them. I know that you might not understand or approve, but we are together. At least I think that we are, but yes. I hope that in the future I can get to know you, but right now, I'm having a really hard time focusing on anything else but Maddie and making sure that they come back to me..."

"Holy fuck! We are together. She thinks that we are. She considers us together," Maddie thinks. They are on cloud nine, as they try to internalize what they just heard: the truth, spoken directly from their dream-girl's mouth.

"Back to us," Frank interrupts. "I hope that Mad will come back to us." He looks at Maddie and continues, voice crackling and shaking. "I am a doomsday thinker. I always think the worse because I feel like it'll prepare me if the worst happens, but in reality, if I lose 'er, I don't think I'll make it."

"That makes two of us," Melissa agrees.

"That makes three of us," Maddie whispers. They wish they could hear them.

Frank sits in the rocker as Melissa takes the chair closet to Maddie's side.

"I don't know how to feel about you both," Frank admits."It might take me some time to get used to. I just thought Maddie was a late bloomer, ya know? Thinkin' the guys would come crawling when it was time for dating to happen. I didn't realize that you guys grow up so fast these days. I didn't realize she didn't even like 'um."

"They like both," Melissa snaps, quick to respond. Maddie and I might be together right now, but they have such a huge heart. I'm surprised it doesn't jump from their chest, you know?"

"So, bi then? That's what they call it, right?" Frank asks.

Melissa chuckles. "Maddie's actually what you would call pansexual, meaning that they actually have a heart that loves everyone, no matter their gender... girl, boy, transgender, non-binary, genderqueer, asexual... it doesn't matter what people label themselves as. Maddie sees people for who they are on the inside and can feel love for them, no matter what they identify as. The person, the personality, if they are a good person... that's what matters to them."

Frank sighs. "That sounds like 'er mother, Patty. Patty loved everyone and had that capacity. It might take me a while to fully understand, but I'll try to get there."

Melissa turns to Frank and genuinely smiles for the first time in a long time.

Maddie smiles because things are finally connecting: RISD, Melissa, even Frank. They hope it isn't too good to be true.

They close their eyes and force themselves to concentrate and ghost back to Spase. They know what they need to do.

Determined, she fades to do just that.