デカセクト

Chapter 45

Right after changing Shouko's clothes, Nijiro pulled her to bed with him. He could tell that she was trying hard not to sniff loudly by the way she was acting. He should have never gone with Suzu, he should have resisted to the temptation.

But the damage has been done and all he could do now was make it up to her as much as he can, even if it takes two lifetimes. Nijiro didn't want her to feel like she has to give herself to him to make him stay. She shouldn't even have that as an option.

Soon enough, she finally fell asleep and her light sniffs were replaced by soft snores. His eyelids grew heavy but he wanted to watch her sleep, he wanted to make sure that this wasn't just a part of his dream.

As his fingers brushed the strands of her hair, he placed a light kiss on her forehead. He couldn't believe he was forgiven so easily but he was grateful. Nothing like that will ever happen again, he won't make the same mistake twice.

For a couple of minutes, he just laid there staring at her as she slept and wondered how lucky he was to have someone like her. He was stupid and unfaithful, he didn't deserve her.

But that didn't mean he was going to let her find someone better. He was going to make himself better for her, make himself more deserving. Because he knew he wouldn't be able to handle seeing her with someone else.

After placing another kiss on her forehead, he wrapped his arms around her and closed his eyes. They were going to heal from this, he'll make sure of it.

The two slept through the whole day and woke up as the sun was setting. Shouko felt uncomfortable now that she had some sleep, it was all she needed to clear her mind.

When Nijiro tried to touch her shoulder, she shuffled away from him. It made him frown but it was a reaction he should expect.

"Are you hungry? I'll order us some food." Nijiro muttered, pulling out his phone. He was sure that none of them were up for cooking, specially Shouko.

Nijiro got up and went down to the kitchen to grab a bottle of water before going back up to her room. He silently handed it to her and she accepted it without a word.

It was going to be harder from now on and he had to be patient with her. After all, this was all his fault.

But little did he know that Shouko wasn't thinking of what he did. Her thoughts were full of what she did. Everything just came crashing down on her after she woke up.

The pain, the guilt, the embarrassment, everything just hit her with one wave. She couldn't even make herself look him in the eyes without remembering what she did behind his back.

There he was, trying to make up for what he did while she was keeping something from him that could potentially tear them apart. Shouko knew Nijiro's character and if she told him what happened, he would surely get mad and hurt Dori.

When Nijiro tried to hold her face, she flinched away. She didn't want to see the hurt in his eyes so she looked down to avoid his gaze.

It made her feel so much worse knowing that he was probably thinking it was his fault that she was acting this way. It wasn't all his fault, she made a mistake too and she was suffering silently for it.

"I-I'm gonna take a shower..." She said just above a whisper before getting up and running to the bathroom.

Shouko felt dirty and her skin felt like it was burning. When she stared into the mirror after she took off her clothes, she noticed a few bruises here and there. She gasped and her eyes started to water again.