デカセクト

Chapter 49

Gonna finish this book today lol. I've already written like half of the last chapter for this book (which is the chapter after this one)

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Shouko could see that Nijiro was trying so hard to make it up to her and she was trying just as hard for him.

It's been a month and they were making things work. She still got sick from time to time but it was nothing that she couldn't handle.

It did cross her mind that maybe, just maybe, she was pregnant. But she didn't want to believe it. Without telling anyone, she bought about five different pregnancy tests for her to use.

That day, she was finally going to use them. She bought them like a week ago but she was too scared to see the results. Now, she felt a little braver.

Shouko took a deep breath and opened her eyes to see the results. All five were the same, positive. She felt her soul leave her body as she stared at the same symbols.

No, no, no...this isn't happening...this can't be real..

Shouko crouched down and hugged her knees as she silently cried. Everything was too painful and she hated herself for not wanting the child inside her. The baby didn't do anything wrong but she hated the baby just for existing.

I hate myself....I hate this..

Tears streamed down her cheeks as she bit her lip. Nijiro was just in her room. How could she face him now? How could she face him after finding out she was carrying someone else's child?

It was all too much for her to take. She shouldn't have gone with Dori, she should have went home by herself.

Should I tell him? Should I tell him I'm pregnant?

As she sat there asking herself the same questions over and over again, Nijiro did the same thing inside her room.

Maybe she doesn't know it yet, should I tell her?

Nijiro didn't want to accept the truth himself. He didn't want to accept that she was truly pregnant. For weeks, he paid attention to the littlest details and he knew. For a while, he kept it to himself. He didn't want to make it known in fear that they would be forced apart.

As despicable as he was, he didn't hate the baby inside her. Hell, he was even prepared to claim the child as his own. But they haven't even had sex, so how could he pretend and lie to the both of them that the baby was his?

When Shouko finally got back in the room, he looked up at her and noticed she had been crying again. It broke him to see her like that. Ever since that day, she has been crying every single day.

"N-Nijiro...I...I want to tell you something..." Shouko spoke.

There was a sense of dread in the pit of his stomach, like she was about to tell him that she just found out she was pregnant.

Nijiro stood up and walked over to her. He stared into her eyes and then at her lips before placing his lips on them.

I want to be selfish

Shouko wanted to tell him that she was pregnant but he wouldn't let her. She felt him guide her to the bed, laying her down.

"W-Wait...I have to tell you something..." Shouko whispered, breaking the kiss. "It's important."

Nijiro closed his eyes tightly for a moment. He knew what she wanted to tell him. But he won't let her, he'll pretend to be blind and he'll give her a chance to tell him the baby is his even though it isn't. He's prepared to take responsibility, he just has to make her believe what he wanted her to believe.