デカセクト

Nijiro's Side - Chapter 8 (Epilogue)

Edited.

I forgot to include Shouko's cat! Lmao

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I snapped my eyes open and stared at the girl in front of me. What just happened? Was I just lost in my memories?

"You spaced out again." Shouko laughed.

I remember now. It's been a few days since she got out of the hospital. She didn't look sick anymore but that didn't mean that the disease miraculously went away. She was still sick and dying, faster than the rest of us are.

I've stopped drinking and smoking for good; that's all for her. I don't ever want to touch a stick of cigarette again and I sure as hell won't drink a drop of alcohol.

"Sorry, you were saying something?" I shuffled closer to her and ran my fingers through her hair.

I could finally touch her like this without getting her angry or upset. My nightmare finally ended and we're finally getting back together.

Shouko smiled up at me but her smile made me frown. Why does her eyes look so sad? Is there something else I should know about?

"Nijiro..." She breathed out. "...you do know that stage four is incurable, right?"

I gulped and slowly nodded my head. I know I was going to lose her sooner or later but I still want to make myself believe that she can actually live on for years with the help of chemo.

"That girl loves you so much, Nijiro. I can see it in her eyes, I can tell by the way she looks at you because it's the same way that I look at you."

"Why are you telling me this all of a sudden?" I asked with a shaky breath. It was like she was saying goodbye already and I didn't like it.

"I'm telling you this because I already decided I won't get chemo and I don't want to see you like this before I go. I want to see you happy, I want to die knowing you'll have someone to make you happy again. Nijiro, you can't have me by your side forever. The sooner you finally accept that, the better."

I let silent tears fall as I shook my head. No way, there was no way I can be truly happy without her. I don't even think I can smile knowing that she's gone.

"I just want to let you know that I care for you that's why I'm allowing myself to say that you don't belong with me. Because if I had a choice, if I could be selfish, I would stay beside you. I can't seem to hate you even after all that has happened, I can't bring myself to love another. You have my heart, Nijiro. I might die but I'll still be alive in your memory."

"Stop talking...please..."

"And when you get a baby girl, maybe you can name her after me?" Shouko joked. "Oh, I really wanted to name my own son Kenma but I don't think I have much time left so maybe you can name your kid Kenma for me?"

"Stop joking around, Shouko. This isn't funny!"

"But I'm not joking around..." She pouted. "I really want to name my child Kenma."

"You and your anime addiction..." I sighed and shook my head, chuckling as more tears run down my face.

After that day, she vanished into thin air. Everyone knew where she was, everyone but me. I felt hopeless but her words made me carry on. Since I never really heard any news about her, I just assumed that she was alive somewhere.

And that was enough to keep me going.

"So, you decided to get chemo?"

Shouko turned around and smiled at Dori. It's been so long since they last saw each other. Shouko was on a swing and Dori decided to walk over to the unoccupied swing beside her and took a seat.