デカセクト

Chapter 46

Nijiro was doing so good in pretending not to notice the hickey on the side of her neck but it was hard not to stare at it every time it peaks when her hair moves a little.

Knowing he also did the same thing, he had no right to get mad at her. And she forgave him so easily that it only added up to the list of reasons why he had no right to get mad.

I finally got to know the reason why she forgave me so easily

No wonder she wanted to do it with me right after what happened

Nijiro laughed dryly in his mind. He really was a shitty person and he even made her do something she normally wouldn't do.

Again, he blamed himself.

If he hadn't fucked up, none of this would have happened. If he had just walked out the door, she wouldn't have changed and did something equally as bad as what he did.

This is all my fucking fault!

Shouko flinched when Nijiro suddenly got up and knocked the chair down as if he was angry at something. She looked up at him, terrified to see his cold yet raging eyes.

"N-Nijiro...?" She spoke so softly yet he heard her and instantly went back to normal.

Nijiro realized what just happened and hastily got the chair up again. He looked back at Shouko noticing her lips quivering and her eyes wide like she was scared of him. He quickly walked over and hugged her.

"I'm sorry, babygirl...I didn't mean to do it..." He whispered, not knowing if he was talking about knocking the chair down or the other mistake he made.

"It's fine...it's okay..." Shouko replied, her voice just above a whisper and she managed to give him a small smile when he pulled away.

After that was silence again and apart from the sound of her washing the dishes, nothing really filled the silence.

Even Niragi was silent as he ate his food. As a cat, he could feel their emotions before they could even recognize them.

Nijiro's phone rang a few minutes later and excused himself to take it. It was his father who told him before about having another dinner with Shouko and her parents to celebrate his birthday. But their parents were out of town and would only get back tomorrow morning.

Just as he expected, his dad called to inform him about the dinner reservation he made at the same restaurant they went to. His dad even told him that Shouko's parents were expecting him to bring their daughter with him to the restaurant since their parents expected that they were getting along.

After the phone call, Nijiro went back to the bedroom and noticed the slight frown Shouko had. He sighed in his mind and went over to her, hugging her from behind. She probably thought a girl called him since he excused himself to take the call.

Shouko turned around to face him and kissed him without a warning. Of course, he didn't try to stop her and just kissed her back.

Nijiro let her take the lead and let her push him on the bed before getting on top of his lap. He knew where this was going but as long as they still had their clothes on, he won't break the kiss or stop her.

They both needed the distraction, they were aware of that. So when Shouko brought his hand up to cup her breast, he let her. It was what they both wanted so he went along with it and squeezed her breast lightly.

Shouko moaned against the kiss and he couldn't help but think if she made the same sound when she was back at Sakurada's place. He knew that's where she was at before she came home.

Jealousy and rage took over him. Nijiro couldn't control himself as he deepened the kiss and lifted her top off a little to sneak his hands inside. Shouko moaned again when he squeezed her breasts, arching her back and pushing herself closer to him.

Nijiro broke the kiss and sucked on her neck, making sure to overwrite the marks on her and make them his own. He was mad, really mad and Shouko could feel that as he sucked on her neck. Only, she didn't know why.

Soon enough his hands were on her waist, pushing her down on him. She understood what he wanted her to do and grinds herself on him as he moaned into the kiss.

Nijiro badly wanted to take her but he didn't want her to do something she didn't want to do. Knowing her, she would just go along with him and that's just not what he wanted. He wanted her to want this just as much as he did.

If she did it with him only to please him, then he would feel like a massive prick. So, as Shouko began to undress herself, he grabbed her wrists to stop her.

"Why?" Shouko whispered, it was the first thing that came into her mind.

"I know you're only doing this for me and not because you want to." He replied before kissing her again and pulling her shirt back down.

Shouko couldn't stop her tears from flowing out again. When Nijiro felt her cheeks got wet, he stopped kissing her and pulled away.

Nijiro didn't want to ask he if she was okay because she clearly wasn't and that would just be a stupid ass question.

Instead of talking, he pulled her into a hug. When his arms were finally wrapped tightly around her frame, that's when she started sobbing.

Shouko was broken, she was a mess. It would take a lot of time until she was completely healed and during the time she's healing herself, he needed to be patient and take in every little thing she would throw at him.

Fortunately for him, Shouko wasn't the type to nag. Whenever she got upset, she would just be completely silent or avoid talking about the problem in general.

But silence doesn't mean the problem would get fixed on its own. They needed to open up with each other and communicate.

Nijiro didn't think it was the right time for them to talk about their mistakes. He would wait until she finally goes back to the old her.

If she goes back...

There was a possibility that Shouko's character would completely change but Nijiro believed that time can heal her. And if it doesn't, he'll still stay with her.

Shouko is the only person he sees a future with. He can even imagine what it would be like getting married to her, seeing her walk down the aisle in a white dress as he waits for her at the altar.

Nijiro was ready to risk anything just to have that. He wanted a future with her, he wanted to build a family with her and he wanted to finally be able to call her his home.

Though he was still too young to think of settling down, he felt like it was the only thing he wanted most in the world.

And as Shouko slept soundly in his arms, he vowed to make that happen.