Love Riot(A Newsboys fanfic)

Chapter 14: Now You Know

When I woke up Monday morning, Marley was standing over me with a saddened look on her face. It had been three days since I moved in with her. The first two days were wonderful but today was the worst. As much a guessed getting up would make me feel better, my body stayed in bed. The last thing I wanted to do was do anything. My heart ached too much.

"Good morning." She said.

I pulled my blankets back over my head. "It's not a good morning."

"I know." Marley sat down on my bed. "Do you need anything? Anything to make you feel better?"

"I just wanna stay in bed." I mumbled.

Marley got up and headed for the door. "Okay. I'll be in the living room if you need me."

I waited for her to leave before pulling the blankets of my head. A Monday normally wouldn't bother but it was the day of the week that was upsetting. It was the date. A date that haunted me and left me with emotional wounds that hadn't healed. Only Marley and my parents knew why this date brought my spirits down. I hadn't told anyone else since it happened. Talking about it made it worse. Brought back painful memories that broke my heart.

I spent the day laying bed, waiting for the day to end. When the evening rolled around, my phone started ringing. I checked the caller id. Normally seeing his name would make me smile but today it didn't.

"Hello." I answered the call.

"Hey, what's wrong?" Jeff's voice came through the other end. "You sound upset."

Could I tell him? Did I trust him enough? I thought it over for a moment think over all the possible ways this could go. Would I feel better if I finally told another person? Would I feel worse?

"This is the worst day of the year." I mumbled.

"How come?"

"It's the anniversary of when my last relationship ended." I replied.

"Why is that bad? What happened?"

I sighed. "Back when I first started working two jobs to support my mom and I, I started days this guy named Ryan. He was a great guy and our relationship was amazing. He was supportive and was always there for me. But soon, he changed. He started being a bit abusive and started stealing money from me. I learned the hard way that that's why he was with me. Because of how much money I earned from two jobs."

There was silence on the other end. After a couple of seconds, I heard a small sniffle. "I'm so sorry, Mya. You didn't deserve to go through that."

"That was the last relationship I was in. It's made me aftaid." I continued.

"Afraid of what?"

"To fall in love." I replied. "I'm scared it'll happen again."

Tears were rolling down my cheeks at this point. All the memories came flooding back and each one of them was an attack on my brain and heart. Every single one of them told me something. I didn't want to listen to them but I couldn't stop myself.

"Mya, it's okay to be aftaid." Jeff's voice snapped me out of my thoughts. "But you never know what your next relationship will be like if you don't go fo it. I can't imagine how you feel but holding yourself back from love isn't gonna make you feel better. Not every guy is like him. Not every relationship you have will be like that one. But you have to decide when you're ready to put yourself out there."

I wiped the tears from my eyes. Was he right?

It's gonna be okay. I promise.

He was right before. Not every guy was like Ryan. Marley told me the same thing. My mom had too. Put yourself out there. Go for it.

That was easier said than done. I've held myself back for so long. I knew I wanted too but was I too afaid? It's okay to be afriad.

Is this what I needed to hear? Was I holding back because I hadn't been told the right thing?

When I was little Before my dad left, he once told me to follow what my heart told me. My heart hadn't told me much in my life. Now, it was but did I want to listen to it? I knew what it was telling me. He's what you've been missing. He's different.

"Hey Jeff, I gotta go." I said. "I'll talk to you tomorrow."

"I hope you feel better. Bye."

Once the phone call ended, I sat up. Most of my past was being fixed. There was a hole in my heart that Ryan had left.

It was time to fill it.

It was time to listen to my heart.