Ghost of a Smile

Paper Thin Walls

"Luce, I never meant for that fight to happen." Lynn sighed. "I said things I didn't mean because I got all defensive and then I snapped." Lynn turned away from her sister and hung her legs off the bed so they would touch the floor, her left leg shaking with nervousness.

"Sigh." Lucy moved to sit next to Lynn, her legs hanging off the edge, feet planted firmly. "Lynn-"

"No." Lynn shook her head. "It's my fault, Lucy." She grabbed the ball off the floor and started tossing it back and forth between her hands. "I never told you this because after that night we barely talked and I thought you hated me, but mom and dad made me go to therapy when I told them that I didn't remember shoving you until you were half out the window and my shrink said that I suffer from rage blackouts." Lynn looked over at Lucy, eyes full of guilt and sorrow. "I blacked out when you mentioned my fear of failure because I was in denial about it and I could have really hurt you. I'll never be able to forgive myself for that." Lynn cried. "Even if you forgive me and you don't hate me. I hate myself."

Lucy frowned. "Lynn, I don't hate you and I don't want you to hate yourself." She slowly reached for her sister's hand making Lynn drop the tennis ball. It rolled across the floor to Lynn's side of the room. "I-I know what it feels like to hate yourself. It feels like a dull pain in your chest and a dark cloud looming over your head."

Lynn sniffed. "Yeah, that's one way to describe it, but I've been working with my therapist for the last three years and I'm learning to accept myself for who am I, rage blackouts included, but it's still hard to forgive myself for hurting you." Lynn sighed. "I-I really think you should see a therapist too, Luce. They're not all quacks. Mine is really good. He could help you too if you just talk to him. We could ask Mom and Dad tomorrow, if you want?"

"Sigh.. I don't know. I'm not very good at expressing myself without poetry and that makes me a fre-"

"Don't say that." Lynn cut her off. "Rule number one, if you don't like what someone calls you then never refer to yourself that way."

Lucy nodded. "Wise words."

Lynn chuckled. "It's on a poster in my therapist's office. Six rules for learning to love yourself again."

Lucy hummed. "What are the other five rules?" She asked.

Lynn smirked. "If you go talk to him you can see for yourself."

"Sigh.. What if I creep him out? I creep everyone out." She frowned.

Lynn rolled her eyes. "So? That doesn't make you a bad person, or unlovable, or worthless, or anything else those kids said to you. You are who you are and you have twelve people who love you no matter what." She smiled. "Plus Rooockyyyy." She teased nudging her sister's shoulder and winking.

Lucy blushed so red that her face didn't look pale anymore. "I-I-"

"You still like him, right?"

"Sigh.. I burn, I pine, I perish."

Lynn raised her right brow. "Yeeeah.. I don't know what any of that means, but if you still like him you should totally tell him."

"It's Shakespeare."

"Okay, but it means you still like him, right?" Lynn smiled.

Lucy tried to hide her smile, but Lynn could see it in the lighting although it was dim. "It means.. I think I might be in love with him."

Lynn gasped at her. "Lucy! Woah, that's a big step for you! You go from barely any emotion to in love?! Wow!" She yelled in shock.

Lucy shushed her quickly. "Please, lower your voice. We still have paper thin walls you know."

"Oh my gosh! You should like totes tell Rocky that you love him!" She heard Leni yelling out to her.

"Sigh."

"If your nervous you can literally double with Bobby and I!"

"Sigh."

"No way dude! You guys are practically married already. You can hang with me and Sam, Luce. It'll be way less pressure on ya."

"Sigh."

Lynn looked at Lucy and mouthed 'sorry' then she shrugged.

"Or you can just hang with me and the guys and I'll tell Rusty to bring Rocky along! Way less stress!" Lincoln called out to her.

"Sigh."

"We so need to do a makeover! I know Rocky likes your creepy goth look, but this time we will make you look like a glamorous goth!" Lola yelled from her room.

"Glitter!" Lily called out.

"No, she needs something to really knock him dead." Luan laughed.

"Oh Honey, he'll be happy no matter what you wear!" Her mother chimed from downstairs.

"Siiiiigh." Lucy fell back over her bed and covered her red face with a pillow, then she threw it at Lynn.

"I said sorry." Lynn shrugged.

"I believe what she actually requires for a decent date to confess the desire burning her loins in a good night's sleep!"

"Lisa! Have you been reading my romance novels again?!" Lori yelled out shocked by her younger sister's vulgarity. "Give it back!"

"No! I have to find out what happens between Blanche and Francois after their passionate night together in his aunt's cabin!"

"You're nine!" Lori shouted back.

"So?! Lucy read about lycanthrope and strigoi romancing females when she was eight years old!"

"I knew we shouldn't have let her read those books!" Her father shouted out. "That's what lead to all this Edgar nonsense!"

Lucy groaned. "I wish I was dead." She whispered making Lynn look over at her in concern. "That was not a suicidal comment, it's an 'I am embarrassed' comment."

Lynn sighed in relief. "Oh.. Okay. I get that. Sorry again." She slid off her sister's bed and went back to her own. The family had quieted down when Lana yelled out that she needed to sleep for work.

At the age of six Lana was working on vehicles and the plumbing in the house so it was no surprise that by time she was eight years old she had her own business fixing pipes, cars, and even an occasional electrical problems for a number of clients.

"Night, Luce."

"Good night Lynn."

"Night Lucy and Lynn!"

"Goodnight Leni!"

"Goodnight everyone!"

"Good night Leni!"

"QUIET! LANA NEEDS TO SLEEP!"

"Good night Lola!"

"Good night everyone!"