Ghost of a Smile

Start With Sorry

Lynn knocked on the door to her bedroom. "Lucy? You have a guest."

"An unwelcome one." Lola glared at the girl making her gulp.

"Rocky?!" Lucy threw the door open, but she didn't see the boy she loved. She saw a girl from her class. "Oh.."

"Uh, Hi Lucy."

"Hi.. Alexandria."

The girl's eyes widened. "You- You know my actual name?" She gasped.

Lucy nodded. "Yes. I thought it was an interesting name."

"Everyone always calls me Alice. I didn't think anyone knew my name."

"I didn't think you knew your name." Lucy stated. "Everytime someone would call you Alice you'd respond."

She nodded. "Yeah, well, that's what they call me and I have to respond. Or I did have to, but now I don't want to be friends with them anymore. They're not nice people. They're cruel and I'm sorry I went along with them." She hung her head in shame. "I actually liked your sweater."

"That one was you?" Lucy frowned. "I didn't think you were part of it."

Alexandria sighed. "I didn't want to write one, but they kept pressuring me and I gave in. I'm sorry." She started crying. "I never meant to make you want to kill yourself. I'm so sorry! I can't believe you almost died because of me! I can't apologize enough, but I am really sorry." She sobbed.

Lucy frowned. "It's not your fault."

"But I was a bully. I never wanted to be a bully. I just didn't want to be bullied. I wanted to fit in, but not at the expense of someone else."

Lucy stepped forward and put her hand on the girl's arm to get her attention. "You're not to blame, okay. Emma, Jenna, and Sarah have hated me since elementary school."

"But I went along with them."

"If you didn't they would have bullied you. I understand."

"That doesn't excuse what I wrote."

"Out of everything I got from them yours wasn't nearly as bad." Lucy chuckled. "Although I did get that sweater from my sister Leni so she may never forgive you, but I do."

"You shouldn't forgive me."

"You shouldn't blame yourself.. I've thought about dying since I was ten years old.. That's not your fault."

Alexandria frowned. "But why?"

Lucy shrugged. "I have always been interested in death and never felt like I belonged in life so dying seemed like the best option.. but then I got scared and decided dying wouldn't be a good idea.. Sigh.. I scared my family too and now I feel bad. It's hard to talk to them because I feel like whatever I say will worry them."

"Your family cares about you, that's nice, and you have such a big family."

"Yeah. It's chaotic most of the time, but sometimes.. it's nice."

"It's only me and my parents and they work a lot. I'm usually home alone. I guess maybe that's why I wanted a bunch of friends even though they weren't good friends."

"Sigh.. If you get lonely you could always come here. You might get annoyed by my siblings though."

"They can't be as bad as the company I used to keep." She wiped at her eyes. "Thanks Lucy."

"Do you have to go home now?"

Alexandria shook her head. "No. My mom won't be home for another six hours and my dad won't be home until morning. As long as I make curfew I can stay out as long as I want. Sometimes I stay out past my curfew just because I want my parents to catch me, but they're never home to catch me."

"You could stay the night if you wanted to.. I'm sure my family wouldn't mind. I could sleep in my coffin and you could have my bed."

Alexandria perked up. "You have a coffin? Like a real coffin?!"

Lucy nodded. "I've had one since I was eight. I got a new one last year."

"Your family let's you sleep in a coffin?! They actually bought you one?!" Alexandria exclaimed.

Lucy let a small smile take over her face. "Yes. They accept me the way I am and they always have."

Alexandria smiled. "That's amazing!" Her eyes lit up. "I've never seen a real coffin before! Are they really comfy?"

Lucy got excited and nodded. "Yeah! Come try it out! You can lay in it!"

"I can?!"

"Yeah! Sure!"

Lucy opened the door to her room and Alexandria followed her inside.

"Here it is." Lucy smiled proudly. "I have a black studded 5-16 with crimson red crushed velvet inside." She bragged as she opened it up.

"Wow! It's so pretty inside!"

Lucy smiled. "Thanks.. so you don't think it's weird and I'm a freak?"

Alexandria shook her head. "No. I mean I'm a little scared to lay in a coffin, but it's still cool that you can."

"Well.. I don't wanna pressure you or scare you, but you can get in it."

Alexandria gulped. "Okay, but just don't close it." She put her bag on Lucy's bed and climbed into the coffin. "Wow. This is pretty comfy."

"Yeah. I used to have a black one with a vintage style cross and the inside was dark red velvet, but then I got this one. I think I prefer the crimson velvet over the dark red. It makes it look more like your laying in blood." Lucy blushed. "Sorry.. I didn't mean to scare you.. Sigh."

"It's okay." Alexandria sat up. "May I ask you a question about dying?"

Lucy nodded. "Sure."

She climbed out of the coffin and sat on the floor near the coffin. Lucy sat down crossed legged on the floor across from her. "I thought about it once, but it was a scary thought. I'm not sure if I know what to believe happens after you die. I was just wondering what do you believe?"

Lucy thought for a moment. "I'm not sure if it's true, but I think your ghost stays with your loved ones and since you're no longer in your body it decays in the coffin under the ground. I think that's why the coffin you're burried in should be a symbol of who you were in your life because it's all that's going to be left of your physical form. Your spirit will still be around, but no one can see it, unless they have the gift. That's what I think when I think about it at least."

She nodded. "Makes sense. I always thought you just decay in the ground, but that thought always scared me. I never even thought about becoming a ghost."

"I believe ghosts are real." Lucy bit her lip nervously. "Can I tell you a secret? It might scare you and you might think I'm a freak.. Sigh."

"You can tell me. I don't think you're a freak. I mean, you are freaky and strange, but in a good way! At least.. I think so.." Alexandria shrugged.

"Okay.. before I lost consciousness I swear I heard my great grandmother Harriet scream." Lucy stated.

Alexandria gulped. "Maybe.. Maybe she was afraid you wouldn't make it if no one found you in time so she screamed to make your family find you." She smiled. "I'm glad she did."

Lucy nodded. "Yeah. Me too."