The Popularity Project

Chapter Forty Three - Chocolate Chip Pancakes

Vivian's POV

I wake up in his arms. The sun is shining brightly through the window. We are tangled together with the sheets. I don't move, I stay silent and bask in his presence. The way his arms feel around me, the sanctuary they give me. He is my home, my safe place to land.

'Tis a fearful thing to love what can touch. Someone should have warned him the pain he was signing up for when he first found me on that damn beach. He should've been warned about this impending hell. I should've pushed him, I should have given him a chance to save himself. But, given my selfishness, I let him fall in love with me, and it will be meaningless once I'm dead. According to the doctors, it could happen anytime from tomorrow to three years from now. I'm counting on spending those three years right by his side, if I have that long.

I look up to see his peaceful face. His long dark eyelashes, his tan skin, his black hair, his pink lips. Last night.. I was afraid, I was afraid that I would have an anxiety attack. I was afraid flashes of Damien's torture would push Ryder away from me. But, I felt more safe in a compromising position with Ryder than I have ever felt in my life. I felt as though I had finally found a home, a safe place to stay.

"You're awake," he smiles, his voice still groggy from sleep. "Beautiful."

He runs his fingers through my hair lightly. I arch myself up to come face to face with him. He watches me silently, I run my fingers through his straight, thick, course hair that refuses to fall. Ryder constantly has a quiff, whether he wants one or not. He kisses me on the cheek, then pulls me on his lap.

"Ready for round two?" He raises an eyebrow and smiles provocatively.

"With you, always." I lay my head on his chest instead of kissing him. I listen to his strong heartbeat. I think of the way my heart may fail me at any moment. I think of the way the electromagnetic pulse that keeps my heart beating at consistent rate is thrown off.

"I don't know, you were struggling-"

"No I wasn't," I lift my head up quickly, my eyes wide. "I wasn't-"

"I'm just kidding," he laughs lightly and places his hand on my cheek. "You were... It was.."

I let my head fall back onto his chest. His heart rate increases as he remembers the events of last night. It truly was amazing. It made me think of the times with Damien, when I was in a constant state of fear that he wouldn't like something, or that he wouldn't appreciate it.

"I love you," he whispers, absently playing with my hair while I listen to my favorite beat in the world, the heart beat of the man I love. We stay this way for what feels like an eternity.

***

"Are you hungry?" Ryder asks. I hear his stomach growl and let out a laugh.

"No, but you are," I smile and climb off of him. He takes my hand and pulls me back to look at him.

"I don't want you to go," he says. "I don't ever want to leave this bed."

"C'mon, you gotta make me some pancakes, heaven knows you owe me some after last night," I smile and walk over to my dresser and pull out a t-shirt to pull over my bra and shorts to wear.

"No, no," he stands from the bed wearing his boxers. "You have to wear this, and shorts are not allowed."

He tosses me his black t-shirt and I pull it over my head. He walks into the bathroom wearing only his boxers, I walk over to the mirror and cringe at my reflection. My eyes have black smudges everywhere. Not to mention, my hair is all mess, partly from last night and partly from Ryder's twirling this morning.