The Popularity Project

Chapter Fifteen - Shower

Chapter Fifteen - Shower

Vivian's POV

After the awkward short car ride home, Ryder came inside the house to talk over some things with Gemma. I retreated to my room. Sure, things between Ryder and I weren't as good as they had been when we were younger, but my jealousy for his affection was uncalled for. I didn't want to be with him like that. I don't think I did...

It's all very confusing. When I enter my room, I realize how terrible I smell and immediately grab a towel to take a shower. When I enter the bathroom, I look into the mirror and see the face of an exhausted broken girl. Tears begin to stream down my face. I never like crying, it makes me feel weak and helpless. But with all the reminders of my parents and Rosalie with the hospital anxiety, I let the tears come.

A knock came on my bathroom door. It had to be Ryder. I didn't want him to see me like this, it would be humiliating.

"Vivian? Are you okay?" His voice was filled with concern. I didn't dare to answer him. Unfortunately, I didn't lock the door, so after a few minutes of no response, he opened the door slightly to see me now in fetal position on the floor. He opened the door all the way to let himself in, then closed the door behind him. The tears were still streaming down my face heavily.

Ryder came close and kneeled in front of me. For a second, I left him hanging with his arms open, gesturing me to jump into them. His comfort was too tempting. For once, I didn't want to be the strong girl who let her feelings be concealed. I wanted this comfort. Needed him.

Like something exploded in my mind, I jumped up and wrapped my arms around his neck. I let myself sink into him and felt safe. He wrapped his arms around my body securely and I continued to cry into his shirt.

"I-I can't," I cry harder. "I can't be strong anymore." He hushes me.

"Gemma- she's going to be taken away from me. You know it as well as I do. I can't lose anyone else," I whisper into his shirt.

"You don't know that, things can change. I won't let you be alone, even if she does end up needing to leave, I will never leave you to be alone." He states with confidence.

I nod my head, believing him completely. Then the exhaustion begins to kick in. I slump in his arms and remember my intentions of taking a shower.

"I need-" I sigh as the sleepiness settles into me. "Need to take a shower."

He hesitates for a minute. I try to move away from our embrace to turn on the water. Ryder reaches to turn the water on for me, keeping me wrapped securely in his arms throughout the process.

"I can help you, I promise I won't look at you. I just want to help you, I don't want you to hurt yourself." He talks quickly with a nervousness. I contemplate my options, I was nearly falling asleep, sure the shower could wait. Except the hospital scent was clinging to my body, it made me sick. The scent reminded me of all my loss and pain. It had to go, now.

I nod. He looks at me in disbelief for a second. Obviously, Ryder didn't think I would allow him to help me. I needed him.

Ryder moved me away only far enough to get my shirt off, still keeping physical contact. I caught his eyes lingering on my bare skin and bra. Then he looked up into my eyes. His hands moved down to my waist, I tried to fumble to buttons of my shorts open. My hands were not cooperating. It must be the drugs. I was conscious, but my motor skills were severely limited. I couldn't take my shirt or shorts off. He smiled reassuringly.

Ryder moved his hands to unbutton my shorts. Grabbing the fabric, he slid his hands down my legs slowly. The shorts came off as his hands moved to my feet.