The Popularity Project

Chapter Four - Home

Picture of Vivian and Gemma's house

I said heartfelt goodbyes to all my classmates at school, not that any of them actually know who I am. Many of them probably don’t even know my name, not even the ones I hooked up with two years ago as sophomores. Its senior year, I’m almost done with school, my grades aren’t superior, and I am leaving home to go to school with a bunch of strangers. Sounds like a stellar senior year.

At least I’ll be safe, that’s the one thought that propels me through the gloomy goodbyes and even worse abandonment. That’s how Piper feels about me leaving, she sees it as abandonment. She knows Damien is a vivid threat to my health, yet she still doesn’t want me to leave to save myself.

I also feel like abandoning my sister, she was buried here in New York. I’m visiting her grave now, three hours before my flight. This is by far the hardest goodbye, maybe its because I’m finally facing the fact that I will be essentially alone in Florida. Sure I still have memories of living there with my parents, Rosalie, Ollie, and my grandmother… it’s just that so much has changed since then.

“Hey Rose,” I talk to her gravestone and lay down the carnations I bought for her. “I’m a senior now, which is pretty exciting. I’m moving to Florida, but don’t worry, Ollie will still be here to visit you monthly. I have to go, Rosalie, but I’m not sure that I want to. I feel like Damien has determined everything in my life since you died, and I don’t want him to be the reason I leave for Florida. I don’t want him to have control over my life anymore, Rose, because it’s asphyxiating.”

“I feel like I’m drowning, no one can save me, and I’m not strong enough to save myself. I put all my strength in saving Damien two years ago, and look where I am now. Broken, absolutely defeated and hopeless. I wanted to become a detective to avenge you, but like everything else in my life, Damien affected that too. I can’t blame him for my idiotic decision to fall for him, but he made me so afraid to do anything but care for him that I lost myself.”

“Who knows, maybe in Florida I’ll be able to find myself again. Goodbye for now, sis, I love you so much. I hope you’re having enough fun up there for the both of us.” I kiss my fingers and touch them to the gravestone before turning around and walking to my car.

***

The flight was long and boring. The flight attendant wearing too much makeup to cover her dark circles yelled at me multiple times for having my seat back when we were taking off and landing. She also yelled at me for using my phone, which I found ridiculous because I had it on airplane mode.

The minute I step off the airplane and turn my phone on, messages blow up my phone. I sigh, turn it on silent and walk to the bag claim carrousel to claim my suitcase. By the time I spot my black suitcase, my phone finally calmed down, which is completely ridiculous because usually I never get notifications.

"Do you need any help, miss?" A mans voice asks me. I look up at his name tag before responding.

"No thank you, Tyler Perkins," I smile politely.

"Are you sure?" He moves uncomfortably close to me.

"Postively," I back away from him and give him an irritated glare.