Ty
It's the end of September, almost October. Mom has been living with us since she came back. I haven't been talking to anyone much. I found I haven't really been fun to be around, I don't like being around myself.
I'm angry all the time, or I'm really upset in some way. Sad or whatever. I don't know. Aaron texts me a lot, seeing if I wanna go play pool or go to the bar. I think he's concerned.
Jess has been losing her patience with me a lot. Ava has been scared of me, Juli hasn't been around much to notice. Ben has been himself, but he's tired of me. He's tired of everyone.
I'm tired of everyone.
I woke up to my phone buzzing.
Aaron
"Big party at the bar tonight, need some adrenaline?".
Tyler
"I'll be there. Daniels?".
Aaron
"As always".
I took a deep breath.
"You're awake?" Ben asked.
I didn't answer.
"I can see why Jess is getting annoyed, you know? Like I can't even be around you without getting upset".
"Fuck you ben" I put a smoke in my mouth.
He sighed.
I went downstairs and grabbed a lighter from my coat pocket. Mom was just taking Juli and Ava to school.
"Still have a problem with everyone living around you?" Jess asked.
I glared, "Screw you Jess".
"I get it Ty, you're mentally fucking ill. Everything would get better if you would just accept that".
I spat at her.
Jess glared, "Tyler, I love you. You are really taking your issues out on everyone though and it's not fair".
"Life isn't fair" I went outside.
I lit my smoke. At least she would leave me alone for a simple smoke, fuck. Everyone decided that as soon as I'm having a bad couple days to act like I'm ruining the fucking world.
I always just wanna fucking hurt someone.
I've gotten into a lot of fights with street kids lately. Aaron and I rob a lot of people together now, I hurt people. It's nice to take my anger out on people. Then I do drugs after, I've started taking whatever the fuck is handed to me.
Who the hell knows what it is.
At least I feel good. I mean, I always feel so fucking angry or so sad or empty or whatever the fuck. When I'm high, drunk, or I have that big adrenaline rush I just feel crazy and fun. I feel good. I rarely ever feel happy naturally, at least since a little bit before mom got here.
I went back inside after I finished my smoke, I grabbed my coat and looked for my Coke. I was planning on bringing it to the party.
"Looking for something?" Jess asked.
I looked at her, "You looked through my coat?".
"Yeah," She smirked, "Nice brand new coat you got there Ty. Hey?".
I didn't answer.
"Ben! Ben get down here! Your brother has something to tell you".
I glared.
She dangled the little baggie of Coke up, then put it back in her pocket. I started feeling rage. Pure rage.
Ben came downstairs in pj pants, "What?".
