Forgiveness

7.4. Confrontation

All of a sudden I am woken up by a loud voice coming from the hall.

"You have got to be kidding me!" Bucky sounds furious and I quickly open my eyes, taking in my surroundings. Bucky and Sam have just walked in the room, getting back from wherever they went to gather information. And they saw Zemo and I cuddling. Great, confrontations. Zemo, who until then had still been sleeping next to me on the couch, gets up as if nothing happened and heads into the kitchen. Bucky glares at him and I sigh, sitting up. Well there goes being secretive.

"Care to explain why you two were all so cozy like that?" Rolling my eyes I straighten out my shirt, wrinkled from laying down so much, and cross my legs. Sam sighs, clearly not wanting to take part in what was about to go down. Bucky stares at me expectantly and I take a deep breath.

"Look, this isn't exactly how I was planning on telling you guys this. Zemo and I are together."

"Have been since Madripoor actually." Zemo chimes in from the kitchen counters and I groan. He wasn't really helping with that comment. I glare at him to shut up and address my friends again.

"As I was saying... I'm sorry about not saying anything, but knowing this was how you would react I made a decision not to. The mission is important and having you two up in my business and being angry at me for choosing to be happy wasn't going to help." Sam is about to say something, but his voice is drowned out when Bucky exclaims loudly.

"Seriously?! Happy with him? Don't make me laugh, he would leave you first chance he got." I feel my anger rising, Zemo shoots me a look of worry, but I dismiss it, waving my hand. Why was Bucky being so difficult about this? I had explained everything to him, without sharing the part that I was with Zemo and he seemed to understand and now he's acting like I'm his mortal enemy.

"You're such a hypocrite, Bucky! Just days ago you said and I quote "I can see how he cares about you". Where did that thought go?" Bucky stays silent for a moment.

"Guys, maybe we should discuss all this later-" Sam tries to diffuse the situation, but clearly Bucky isn't done yet and frankly neither am I.

"Y/N, he's just using you so he doesn't go back to prison. Why can't you just understand that?"

"Because it isn't true! He cares about me. I've spent time and time again trying to explain to you how I feel and how much guilt and conflict I've had to deal with. I finally have come to peace with my decisions and my feelings and I am in no way obliged to obey to what you think is right for me. We are best friends and I'm grateful to everything you've done for me, but this is my life not yours." I notice Zemo has gotten himself a drink and is standing just a bit behind me, he gives me an encouraging smile and I mumble a "Thank you". I was glad he understood I needed to do this on my own.

"I understand that! But look at all that he's done! Steve told me that in Wakanda you said you couldn't look at him anymore, because of what he did to me. So who's the hypocrite now?" I let out an annoyed sigh. We were both being a little selfish about all of this, but that tipped me over the edge.

"That's what this is about?! Damn it, Bucky, don't you listen to anything I say! Maybe I am being selfish, but I have spent years feeling guilty and missing him and wondering whether what I was feeling was wrong, wondering who I have to do right by. Well I've decided to do right by me and by Steve who you just love mentioning every conversation apparently. You know what he told me in Wakanda before Thanos arrived? "When we make it out of here you owe it to yourself to do what your heart is telling you." Sadly it took me a while to do that but I am trying to. I know that you must feel hurt and betrayed by me keeping a secret and it being this, but Bucky, I'm sorry. I am happy with him and I'm done feeling guilty about it."

The atmosphere is tense, everyone stays quiet after my last 'speech' and I breathe out, nervous of what Bucky was going to respond. This was bound to happen at some point and I was just hoping we could come to some sort of agreement. I hated the thought of my best friend being angry at me, but I needed to get all of that out. We both had things to say and it was better to have it out in the open.

"If I may...Unless someone has something else to contradict themselves with we have a job to do." Zemo's words catch my attention and I instantly know this won't end well. Bucky still needed time to process everything and Zemo antagonizing him wouldn't help.

Bucky grabs the whiskey glass from Zemo's hands, throwing it to the ground as it shatters. The sound makes me jump and suddenly I can feel my heart hammering in my chest. Not now.

"Shut up, Zemo or I'll drag you to prison right now! Stay out of what doesn't concern you." Zemo rolls his eyes.

"Doesn't concern me really? It's my relationship you're being so vocal about, James! Why don't you just get it in your head that Y/N and I are happy and we don't need your blessing to be together!" Both of them had raised their voices and my hands were now trembling. The argument and the sound of breaking glass had brought flashbacks from Zemo and I's fight in Sokovia and everything else that followed and even if we were okay now it was still a painful memory. I cover my ears and try to get them to stop, which nobody except Sam notices.

"Please, stop, both of you." Sam sees my discomfort and since the other two seem not to, he suddenly yells out at them.

"For God's sake stop, you're making Y/N even more upset." That catches their attention and Zemo's expression suddenly softens as he ignores Bucky and kneels in front of me.

"I apologize, dove, I didn't mean to scare you." Nodding I let him hold my hand and kiss it gently.

"I know. Thank you." Annoyed at us speaking Sokovian again Bucky huffs angrily.

"I need some air." He announces and storms out of the apartment. I take a deep breath and allow Zemo to pull me towards him and rub soothing circles on my lower back.

"I'll talk to him." Sam sends me a smile and I thank him as he leaves to chase after Bucky.

~ Outside Sam follows Bucky ~

"Hey, man, wait up where are you going?" Bucky rolls his eyes at Sam's voice and stops.

"What do you want, Sam?" Sam sighs.

"Dude, you need to calm down. Y/N loves Zemo and you said it yourself that you see he cares too. If he does anything to hurt her we'll kill him."

"I don't know if ever be okay with the two of them being together." Bucky seems frustrated and Sam knows that he's not just angry he's more worried than anything.

"Look, Bucky, I know. It's...weird to say the least. But there are just some things we can't control, Zemo has done awful things, isn't that pleasant to hang around frankly but he's going back to jail anyways, as long as he doesn't try to run away we can survive his presence. Y/N grounds him, and he helps her." Bucky stays quiet, taking in Sam's words. He knows his friend is right, but it still felt so wrong. No matter what though he wanted Y/N to be happy, so he was going to put up with a Zemo for now.

"Alright, fine, you're right. Let's just do this and be done with him." Sam chuckles at Bucky as the two of them head back in...

~Bucky and Sam are back. Y/N's POV~

Anxious I can't really focus on whatever Zemo was saying to me. I'm out of my trance when Bucky and Sam enter the room. I take a deep breath noticing Bucky approach Zemo and stare at him.

"If you hurt her or try to leave I'll hunt you down and kill you myself." Zemo simply nods and I sigh in relief.

"Now let's go do what we came for..."

A/N: Hey guys!! Author here, so sorry for the wait things have been kinda crazy. Just letting you know I'll be going on vacation these next 2 weeks, I'll try to sneak in some time to write but there might not be updates. I promise I'll do my best to get some as soon as possible but just letting you know why I will be gone. I love all of you <3