Electric Box |h.s|

Chapter 1

Blackout Days By Phantogram, Future island

Ruby

Red.

That's the color I'm staring at right now, as I brush out my knotty hair in front of the steamy glass mirror, in the bathroom.

I'm getting ready for my son's back to school night. They do every year which I hate, but of course, I have to go. I'm so proud of him I just can't believe he's 5 years old and in the 1st grade, time really does go in a blink of an eye.

My son is named Greyson,  I had him when I was 20 years old, yup I was very young. I had him with my high school boyfriend, and he's an asshole.

Anyways, I was at college for about maybe a year and a half, then I had to end it because I had to take care of my baby. My son's father went to a school in North Carolina so he wasn't around a lot in the beginning, but I wasn't alone I had help from my grandparents which I love so very much.

My son's father named Finn he came back home when he was done with school, to come back and live in Manhattan New York, where I live so he could help out.

The reason why he didn't help in the beginning is that I wanted him to go to college, just because I didn't doesn't mean he can't so he went.

To be honest, I wish he stayed in North Carolina and never came back here.

He was sorta nice when he helped me out when I was pregnant, but now he's an ass. He has major drinking problems and anger issues I had enough of him so I ended it 3 years ago. I couldn't deal with his shit anymore it was the best decision I've ever made.

So after I ended things with him, he just screams at me and blamed it on me because it was my fault I got pregnant. But it's not, he's the one who forgot the condom but maybe it's my fault too. I just wasn't paying attention, I'm on the pill now so I'm fine but it doesn't even matter. The last time I had sex was with someone random two years ago at my friend's birthday party, so I've been dry as a bone. I just never found a good person that can do amazing sex, Finn was just very vanilla at it, and I kinda faked all my orgasms, but he never knew. Anyways I think he was just doing it out of anger that we're not together, I know he loves Greyson.

He does help out though which I'm very thankful for. He takes Greyson Friday morning drops him off school, has him Saturday and Sunday as well, then drops him off school Monday morning then I pick him up. I have him Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday. It used to just be me all the time, he would only see him on the weekends in the summer, but I wanted him to see his dad more, and he makes it work.

He only works on the days I have him now, It might be a little confusing but we make it work, even if we barely talk anymore, but when we do talk he's just always screaming at me. I also hope he doesn't drink around Greyson he says he doesn't but I don't know.

My grandparents also help a lot, both my parents died when I was just five years old to a drunk driver. I'll never forget that day, I was at my friend's house at a sleepover then my grandparents came there and told me what happened.

I miss them every fucking day, I wish they could see Greyson they would just adore him and spoil him I know it. I'm just not so sure if they'll like me being pregnant at 20, but we'll never know I guess.

As I said I'm getting ready for my son back to school night at Rock Port elementary school here in Manhattan New York. I know it's crazy how I live in New York, well I lived here my whole life I love it, kinda pricey but I got a lot of help from my grandparents as I said, and from my mom and dad which they both had a will I got from when I turned 18. I lived with my grandparents till 5 till 18 then moved out to go to college, but stayed in an apartment alone then quit college because had to take care of my son, So yes my life is very confusing but I wouldn't want it any other way.