Flying On Crippled Wings • (Sixx:AM)

Dreams Unwind...

***AUTHOR'S NOTE!***

I... don't know why I'm feeling uneasy about posting this LOL, but... I had this scene written for MONTHS, and today I was trying to decide which one to add to this compilation next, and I thought... "Hey, it was Stevie Nicks' birthday on Wednesday... You should do this one!" You're probably so confused right now after reading that sentence, but you'll connect the dots as you read.

This song link will help enhance the experience of this scene! I recommend listening to the song as you read (or beforehand, and then read!) You'll understand why, I promise!

SPOTIFY: https://open.spotify.com/track/6ywHOBNDQYcSl5SEbRWw66?si=3c7db7eca17142b3

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SDO11Bk9z7w

****There are a few references to CHAPTER 14 of "You Have Come to the Right Place" in this, but the scene takes place POST-TREATMENT... (I don't have an EXACT timeframe, but James is in a pretty good state of mind and is doing well... Well enough to be cleared to perform/tour again!)****

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JAMES'S P.O.V:

Never in a million years did I think I would be standing in this spot right now...

We're back.

The three of us are standing on stage right now, and my body is shaking.  It's shaking with pure excitement, nervousness, and longing... It's hard to put into words what I'm really feeling right now, but let me tell you that it's not a bad feeling at all...

After all of the crap that the three of us endured over the past two years, I was losing hope... I didn't think that I would ever be back here, performing again.  I had lost touch with myself and totally disconnected from the person that I was, because all I was able to focus on was my addiction...

Addictions suck the life outta you.

They really freakin' do.

Everything almost feels like a blur because of everything that's happened.  So much happened, but I'm trying not to think about that right now... I'm just trying to focus on the fact that the three of us are sharing the incredible bond that we've always had... Even through the darkness, we were always here for each other, and none of that changed.

Sure... Recovery has its ups and downs... I know there's no such thing as a perfect road... Slips happen... There are good days and there are bad days... I've had my fair share of both ever since I've left the center... I'm not gonna lie and say that everything has been peaches and cream because it hasn't.

It's been tough.

It's been tough, and I needed to get some extra support at times, but what matters is that I'm continuing to fight, no matter how rough things get... I refuse to give up now, because look....

If I had given up, this wouldn't be happening right now.

I wouldn't have been in a good enough place to be able to go back to performing... I don't have everyone terrified that something is gonna happen to me now... My therapist isn't constantly worried about me... Nikki and DJ trust me more around food, even if I still struggle, it's nowhere near the extent that I struggled before.

I'm out of the black hole that I had dug myself into... I feel a sense of freedom, and I also know that I still need to be careful, because addictions are a slippery slope...

It's just the reality, and I refuse to push that away now.  I'm here to acknowledge all aspects of my experience and journey, even if it's uncomfortable.... like right now.