Flying On Crippled Wings • (Sixx:AM)

Dream On Down, You Silly Dreamer!

**PLEASE READ BEFORE PROCEEDING TO THE SCENE**

I've been waiting to post this scene for a long time... I'll be honest and say that I have not been doing well mentally... but I made sure I had this ready for you guys, after multiple tweaks & photo editing... It's time.

This whole scene is a big TW... But I am going to elaborate on some IMPORTANT notes here:

***THIS IS REVOLVED AROUND TRAUMA***

1.) There is discussion of symptoms of Complex PTSD, which is DIFFERENT from PTSD. PTSD stems from a SINGLE traumatic event (natural disaster, witnessing a murder, a sexual assault, etc), where-as COMPLEX PTSD is developed from ONGOING, MULTIPLE TRAUMATIC EVENTS (such as long-term emotional abuse, sexual abuse, being held captive, etc)... It is highly common with RELATIONAL trauma.

2.) Complex PTSD has all of the symptoms of PTSD (nightmares, flashbacks, hypervigilance) , with some ADDITIONAL ones (change in self-concept/self-worth, difficulty regulating emotions, interpersonal disturbances, etc)

3.) There are THREE types of FLASHBACKS in C-PTSD -- (Visual, Emotional, and Somatic). VISUAL flashbacks are the typical flashbacks that you think of when you hear PTSD - reliving trauma as a VISUAL picture with auditory components. EMOTIONAL & SOMATIC flashbacks are much trickier to spot and are the main types in C-PTSD.

EMOTIONAL -- where intense EMOTIONS occur due to triggers of EMOTIONS felt during past trauma. These can show up looking like disproportionate emotional reactions to a situation, rather than a "flashback".

SOMATIC (also called "BODY MEMORIES") -- where PAIN and BODY SENSATIONS are felt due to re-experiencing the PHYSICAL PAIN of the trauma...

*James experiences somatic flashbacks in detail during this scene*

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ANOTHER IMPORTANT NOTE / BACKGROUND INFORMATION:

In real life, James was married for 10 years (but the relationship ended in a divorce). This was during the time that he was drinking to self-medicate his undiagnosed Bipolar Disorder symptoms, and it caused issues in the relationship. However, from what I've learned about James through his podcasts & vulnerability, I can tell that there was definitely more to it than that... and he has said himself that he "knows he was a difficult person to be around", and he blames himself for the failure of the marriage. Without giving away details, keep this information in mind while you read... Toxic relationships are traumatic, and emotional abuse leaves very deep scars that take years to heal from... Gaslighting is another huge component of EA... When the victim is manipulated into questioning their own sanity; whether their trauma actually happened or not...

WARNINGS: C-PTSD symptoms (Somatic flashbacks/body memories, toxic shame, suicidal thoughts, self-hatred, dissociation (feeling "unreal" and "out of your body" -- a trauma response), panic attacks

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This scene is connected to "Rhiannon" again, (but it is a completely different version than the other scene I wrote). Once again, I HIGHLY recommend listening to the song as you read the scene where the performance starts (or beforehand)... It will just enhance the visual and auditory components of the writing... Here are the spotify & youtube links.

SPOTIFY: https://open.spotify.com/track/7glpJMvPBbSTu980pyeGH1?si=818c08719af842ce

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9fEc4WFzi3Q