Flying On Crippled Wings • (Sixx:AM)

You Can't Go On Thinking Nothing's Wrong (Part One)

**AUTHOR'S NOTES**

Hello beautiful people!!

I'm back with a fresh new drop-in installment from "Relief"... After discovering more information about James's family that I didn't know about, I knew I had to incorporate more chapters involving them...and alas! Hot out of the oven...This drop-in had to be split in half (what a shock...I realize more & more each day that I'm incapable of writing something short!)

***TIMELINE: This installment takes place during chapters 34 & 35 of "Relief" (titled "Suffocate" & "Maybe It's Time)***

ALSO...If you haven't read the "Rock on the Range" (part's 1 & 2) of THIS compilation (Flying On Crippled Wings), please do so...There are references to the events of those two chapters in this drop-in. Things will make a lot more sense if you check them out (and my first work, "Relief") first!

Enjoy!

~ ~ ~

November 6th 2016

NIKKI'S P.O.V:

"Hello...Hi...This is Nikki Sixx...My band and I were scheduled to play a gig at your venue tomorrow night...Yes...Yes that's correct...Uh...I'm afraid that we're going to have to cancel that...Yeah...Yes, I'm deeply sorry...Well, you see...There have been some circumstances out of our control...Mhm...Correct...Yeah, but I'm more than willing to help ya find a fill-in...There's this killer act that I'm almost certain can get the job done...Shinedown...Yes, sure I'll email you their contact info...Thank you for understanding...Yes, you too...Bye."

The second that I end the call, I let out a disheartening, exhausted sigh.

I wish that was the last cancellation call that I will have to make, but if I said it was I would be lying... I feel like I barely even started. It doesn't matter how many of them I've made already. It hasn't gotten any easier and I doubt it ever will. If anything, it's only pushed the horrible reality that I'm living harder in my face...There is absolutely no escape from it.

The reality is that we had a whole Canadian wing of our tour scheduled for the remainder of November, but that's just not happening. Unfortunately, cancelling the rest of our tour was fuckin' inevitable and I knew it would be this whole time. I was dreading the very moment that I was going to have to make the first call...And now, five or so calls later, I feel like my last reserves of inner strength are diminishing.

Right now, I've been sticking to calling all of the venues privately and letting them post the cancellation publicly so their customers receive their refunds...I'm not sure when it'll feel like the right time for us to make a public announcement on our social media pages. This is such a conflicting situation...None of our fanbase knows the details of what we've been enduring here, and without James's permission, I can't expose it. That would be a complete violation of privacy and I would feel like shit about myself if I took that step. Of course, just posting a gig cancellation announcement won't give away details, but it will inevitably raise suspicion and questions from our fans...As if we don't get enough of those already in our comment section...

Every time a new comment pops up, I feel sick...Every question and concern we get around Jame's well being diminishes my hope a tiny bit more, and it's rough. Part of me wishes I could answer some of them and reassure them that James is okay, but that would be a lie...That's just not the truth, and I can't tell them the truth...I don't know when or if we'll ever tell them the truth.

They must have so many assumptions... Drugs...Cancer...mental health issues... Some might even be thinking the reality...They might know it's an eating disorder...