Flying On Crippled Wings • (Sixx:AM)

Schokolade

AUTHOR'S NOTES:

Hi everyone!

After a while of debating with myself, I've decided that I will be sharing some of the scenes that I've been writing in the little free time that I currently have... Life has been crazy, and I haven't been able to get back into updating "You Have Come To The Right Place" just yet, so I figured that I could still give my readers something to bask on in the meantime...

For those who don't know what the "Relief" AU is, I suggest checking out the Relief series ("Relief" & it's sequel "You Have Come To The Right Place"). James has an eating disorder, Bipolar Disorder, and unprocessed trauma. DJ is dealing with PTSD after witnessing James deteriorating to the point of near-death from his ED. Nikki serves as a mentor/father figure to both of them.

I look forward to slowly sharing these scenes with you guys. Some of these will take place during "Relief", in eating disorder treatment, and post-treatment. I really hope you like them!

PS: I'm unsure if there will be a set posting schedule at this time, so please be patient with me! Life gets in the way of many things!

ENJOY THE RIDE !!

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****This first chapter is a deleted scene straight out of "Relief".

Set between chapters 23 (titled "Rise?") & 24 ("Drive")***

TW: eating disorder behaviors, laxative abuse & it's side effects, disordered thinking

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Backstage - Hamburg, Germany

James's POV:

"Oh hellll yeah!"  DJ's enthusiastic voice reverberates through the backstage area, as he begins digging into the finely crafted appetizers scattered across the rustic, round black table.  "The catering here is the shit!"

It doesn't matter how long I've known DJ or how often I see him act like a jubilant child.  I always feel the need to smile.  The dude is forty three but I don't think he'll ever lose that childlike spirit in him.  I hope he doesn't... That's what makes him...him.

We arrived at Knust not too long ago, but nothing eventful's happened yet.  Right now the three of us are just hangin' out before we need to head to do some press.  I'm not gonna lie and say that I don't feel some tension in the room... It's almost become an inevitable thing, even though I've been trying my hardest to hide everything and stay true to my façade, I have a bad feeling that certain things are slipping through the cracks.

Scratch that.  I know that there are dents in my mask, and I feel like the biggest piece of shit for continuing to lie through everything, but I don't feel like I have any other choice in the matter.

I woke up this morning feeling like hell.  The hotel that we stayed at last night was beautiful, but my own discomfort and pain kept me from being able to enjoy the experience to its full extent.  I had to be up and out the door by 8:00am, but because I had slept terribly, getting myself together felt like an arduous task.  One of the first sensations I felt when I opened my eyes was the burning of my throat, which unfortunately isn't an uncommon occurrence these days.

Of course because I'm not a normal person, I wouldn't touch a fuckin' cough drop or grab a hot tea with honey.  I forced myself to suffer through the pain like I always do, but as usual, it made preparing myself for the day feel like hell.

It only took one glance of my reflection in the bathroom mirror for me to cringe.  The bags under my eyes looked absolutely horrendous, and I was able to see little cracks forming in my lips, along with a tiny cold sore in the corner.  I'm smart enough to know that the acid I'm bringing up from purging is what caused this, but it's not enough to get me to rethink my decisions of constantly engaging in that disgusting behavior.