Princess °° Freddie Highmore [dd/lg]

chapter thirty-six:

-- C H A P T E R
T H I R T Y - S I X --

I woke up the next morning to find Freddie gone. I sit up, groggily removing a loose strand of hair behind my ear and yawned. I looked at my surroundings and saw Freddie's clothes were on the chair adjacent to the bed. Then I hear the shower running. I sat there, a bit surprised. Did Freddie stay at friend's houses? Or when he had lovers, did he stay with them for the night?

I hear the shower faucet turn off, and as the steam billows out from the bathroom, I see a shirtless Freddie Highmore tie his towel around his waist. His hair is all over the place, a tad bit damp, and he looked refreshed -- not hungover like I expected him to be.

"Good morning, love," he greets cheerfully. "sleep good?"

"Yeah, actually," I reply, trying my best not to stare. He wasn't built, but just by the way his structure looked, it made him attractive. I can see on his torso a few lines on his abs, indicating he was progressing during the times he works out. "if you don't mind me asking.." I add on, already gawking at his slightly stern chest. "how come you stayed the night?"

Gathering the shirt he wore the night before, Freddie smiled at me as he begins to button up his dress shirt. "I got comfortable sleeping next to you," he says, grabbing his tie. He wraps it around his collar. "your scent is intoxicating, Ms. Helgard."

I feel a blush begin to form on my cheeks. "Thanks," I say. "you don't have to wear that tie if you don't want to." I say, biting my lip.

"Oh, really?" Freddie asks, quirking his brow as he smirks. "If I decide not to wear it, where do you think I should put it?"

"I don't know," I reply, shrugging. "maybe in the closet?"

"I think I know where I'll put it," he says. He steps forward, his dress shirt and towel still in tact. He takes his tie and wraps it around my wrists, then pushes me gently back on the bed. "I'll put it on your wrists." He smirks, and the mint gum that was once in his mouth wavers through my nostrils. "I would nip at your neck, although I can't."

I shudder beneath his hold. "Why not?"

"Because," Freddie mumbles as he brushes his lips against mine. "we're going to church. There's no use in getting a hard on during the worship service." He unties my wrists and tosses his tie to the chair, then grabs his pants and underwear and heads into the bathroom; giving me time to get ready.

     The church that Freddie took me to was surprisingly small. I thought, because he was wealthy, that he'd go to a mega church, or pay a pastor to come to his house to preach. No. This church held maybe thirty people, excluding us.

  It's been a long time since I'd gone to church. The last time I had gone was when I was ten. This was before my parents died. As I raised my hands, praised God, and allowed the Holy Spirit to course through the room, my mind flooded back to the time I had gone as a child. With shaky hands, I begin to burst into tears, and I wasn't exactly sure why. Sure, I had missed my parents, but something like this couldn't make me this vulnerable.

Or could it?

I can feel Freddie's hand on my shoulder. I look up at him, teary-eyed. I then began to ask, with a trembling lip, "Why am I feeling this way?"

Freddie gives me a gentle smile. "You haven't worshipped in awhile, have you?" He asks with a slight chuckle.

I shake my head. "No," I reply. "I haven't."

"Well," Freddie begins, giving out a sigh of relief. "I can tell you it's normal for you to cry. You're overwhelmed by the peace God gives you. This is a place where you can come, be who you are, and no one can judge you. My pastor here told us during a sermon that, acceptance is with a person, not the behavior. How we act is one thing, but we need love as people. We need to know that we are cherished, just like the Father cherishes us unconditionally."

I let his words sink in, giving it some thought. "Thank you, Freddie," I reply. "It means a lot."

"You're welcome, Am." He kisses my forehead. "I love you."

°°

"That was a great service!" I say as we walk through the hotel room door. "I never thought I'd stop myself from laughing at the pastor's jokes."

Freddie closes the door behind us. "Yeah, Pastor Ben has been a good teacher of the gospel. He wasn't always leading a small church, though."

"Really?" I furrow my eyebrows. "The way he presented himself it seemed like he did."

"That may be," he said. "however, Pastor Ben gave an example of doing what we are called to do, and the consequences of not following through with our calling. He preached at a church in Houston for awhile, and then one day, he allowed the power to get to his head. He said that he went from having a two-story house to being in a homeless shelter in months."

"Wow," I replied, listening intently. "how did he rise above it?"

"I don't remember how he got back on his feet," Freddie continued. "I do remember him saying that he had gathered up enough money to get a small house here in Austin, with his wife. Then, one morning, God directed him to the church we went to today, and he's been preaching there ever since."

"That's pretty cool," I say. "although I can imagine how tough it must have been."

Freddie looked off into the distance for some time.

"You okay, Freddie?" I ask. I place my head on his shoulder.

"Yes," he replied softly. "I'm just thinking about some things. I better get going now, tomorrow I have a meeting."

"Okay," I say as I watch him get up from the bed we were sitting on. "are you sure you don't want to talk about it?"

"For right now," Freddie begins, gathering his keys. "yes, I'm sure. Maybe on a later date, I'll tell you."

"Can I ask you something before you go?" I ask.

"Anything, love."

"Why don't you go to a big church?" I tilt my head to the side.

"I feel more at home when I'm in my church," he says. "large churches, for me, make it obligatory to donate. Small churches do that too, but it's just the humbleness of it all that makes it more freeing."

He then places a kiss on my forehead. "I love you." he says. "I'll see you tomorrow."

With that, he exits the room, leaving me to lay back in bed and smile like an idiot. I hoped that one day, Freddie could be mine for the rest of my life.

I really do.

°°°

Author's Note:

Some of the details in this chapter were based on some real life events. Just thought I'd let y'all know in case you were curious.

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~ Valerie Matthews