for, lover (Completed; editing)

Chapter 39

The front door swings open and Maddy comes plowing in with a handful of grocery bags. I jump up from the couch and lock eyes with her.

"Do you need help?!" I shout.

"Nope! I got it." She yells back and carries them all to the kitchen.

I follow her in there and help her start putting them away. It was the least I could do. She lets out an exhausted sigh when we're finished.

"I didn't know you were going grocery shopping. I could've gone with you to help." I tell her.

"I think I got everything. I got your english muffin things and those snack packs that you like."

I laugh under my breath.

"Yeah, I see that. Thank you."

She flashes me a smile and grabs a Gatorade from the fridge.

"How was your duty...call?" I question with a raised brow.

That gets a good laugh from her. She presses her back against the counter and takes a swig from her drink.

"Fantastic. How was your day yesterday?"

I shrug and try my best to not make her feel bad for completely ditching me. It was lonely if anything, but I think I needed it.

"Uneventful. I'm glad you're back."

She sets her bottle down and wraps her arms around me. I chuckle, giving into her awkward display of affection.

"We'll have that movie night tonight if that's what you want! I bought ingredients for this jambalaya dish that I wanted to try and make. How does that sound?"

"It sounds like exactly what I need."

"Good! I'm going to go take a shower and then I'll start on it. It'll take a couple of hours so it's better to start it early."

She walks off down the hall to the bathroom. I shove her Gatorade back in the refrigerator for her and go back to the couch to finish the rerun of Grey's Anatomy they had going. Watching this show religiously like this is so bad for my mental health but I can't stop. How can something this depressing be equally as addicting?

Maddy finishes her quick shower and starts working on dinner, leaving me to find a movie to watch. There isn't really anything new out that looks interesting enough so I decide to go with a classic from our childhood that we both love.

"How's A Cinderella Story?" I ask her.

She pokes her head around the corner with a wide grin.

"We've seen that one a hundred times. Is that really what you want?" She asks.

"Yes because I know I won't be disappointed. If we watch something new there's a 50% chance it'll suck and I can't commit to being mad right now."

"Well in that case, it's perfect."

I get the movie started by the time she puts everything in the oven. Maddy makes her way over to the couch with her silk blanket. She takes a corner of it and drapes it over my legs too. It's no mystery why it's her favorite blanket. It's the softest thing I've ever felt.

"Selena was obsessed with this movie. You remember when we first watched it and she tried to get a job at the diner down the road from her house because she wanted to be like Sam?"

"Yeah and the owner literally laughed in her face." I giggle.

"She was 12. I would've laughed too."

"I'm pretty sure you did. You said it was a horrible idea and that she would hate it."

"Was I wrong? Can you imagine Selena working in customer service?"

I laugh and shake my head.

"No, not at all."

Selena was great with people until it came to any kind of public service, then all of her people skills would shut off and she would just go blank. She had good intent but her resting bitch face spoke for her, not leaving the best impression.

Maddy rests her head on my shoulder throughout the remainder of the movie until her timer goes off. She scurries back to the kitchen and gets the jambalaya out of the oven. I set the plates out and make two glasses of wine for us when I take a seat at the table. We've been going through a lot of wine.

"That smells so good. How do you do it?" I ask her, staring hungrily at the dish as she puts it in between us.

"Pinterest."

I laugh and wave my finger at her.

"Good point. It still takes a skill to be able to do those recipes well. If you handed me the directions and all of the food, I'd still find a way to mess it up."

She smiles, taking an extra long sip of her wine.

"You don't give yourself enough credit. You're perfectly capable of doing anything you set your mind to."

"Thank you, Ben Franklin." I tease.

She lets out an exaggerated laugh.

"I wish you would be more positive. Look what we've accomplished so far! We've got it pretty good around here." She says with her arms held above her head to point out our nice little apartment.

"True, but I still feel like I should be further along by now." I admit.

"There's no designated time for you to live life. As long as you're enjoying it, what's the harm?"

I glance down. She catches my change in demeanor and sets her glass back on the table.

"I know things are a bit weird right now but they always end up getting better. Once you get back to work you can get back in your little groove of things."

"I want to change my groove." I mutter.

"To what?"

God, I wish I knew the answer to that. I finally got the guts to admit that I need change so of course it's going to take some time to figure out exactly how to do that. As if that's possible. I'm too indecisive which is how I got myself here in the first place.

"I have no idea." I sigh.

"Well let's figure it out together. What are your interests? What are you good at or what is something you might want to learn?"

"Mads, if I knew the answer to all that stuff then we wouldn't be having this conversation."

She bites down on her lip and nods her head.

"You could do some research? Look and see what kind of jobs are out there. Maybe you could think about going to get your Master's?"

That would be great but I'm already in enough debt. I also hate the thought of being back in school after finally feeling like I was finished. I should've known it couldn't have been that easy to get out of it. There's always going to be more.

"I can't go back to school. I wouldn't even know what to go for. I don't have any special talent, skill, or interest in pursuing literally anything."

"Cmon, Bree. There's got to be something out there that interests you besides managing a freakin' coffee shop. Which, don't get me wrong, isn't a bad thing."

"It's not a great thing either."

She slaps her hand on the table.

"That's it, dammit! Tomorrow we are going to find something that you like. I'm determined."

I should've kept my mouth shut.