for, lover (Completed; editing)

Chapter 42

When I turned twenty, I spent the entire night secluded in my bedroom. Maddy tried to throw me a party with all of our school friends but I lied and told her I was visiting my grandparents in Florida so it wouldn't work out that year. I turned off my cell phone and watched all of the Twilight movies from my DVD collection with myself and a pint of non-dairy rocky road.

On my twenty-first birthday, I got blackout drunk because Maddy kept buying me shots the entire night without making sure I drank water. I don't remember most of the party but I woke up on her bathroom floor covered in who-knows-what fluid.

On my twenty-second birthday, I stayed with my father for the weekend and went kayaking with him and my step mom. It was a nice gesture for them to invite me to their place for the occasion and my step mom cooked me this giant five cheese lasagna that I would kill to have again. Everyone in my life makes a mean Italian dish and I can hardly remember how to put spaghetti together.

When I got back, I started packing up my things to move into my apartment. It was a week or so before graduation and I spent the entire day in my room getting everything ready to leave. Mom took me out to this really nice Vietnamese restaurant near the house and then we came home and played Monopoly for three hours. Maddy was out of town with her mom and went on and on about how bad she felt that she couldn't make my birthday. I wasn't mad at all. It was exactly what I needed.

I haven't had a boyfriend on my birthday since I was nineteen when Ben and I broke up. I didn't meet Miles until two weeks after I turned twenty-two so we never got to celebrate a birthday together.

Waking up at twenty-three now, he finds his way back through my mind again. Back in my dreams.

I torture myself with the memories of us. The ones I suppress to ease the pain that usually follows.

I feel like a damn idiot for letting someone control my thoughts like this. Always having one person on your mind is the worst kind of torment, especially if you want them close but equally as far away as possible.

Twenty-three came vigorously. Another day in my roaring twenties where I wake up in regret of not progressing further in adulthood. Maddy had me thinking about my future way too much this week that I thought it would be a fantastic idea to consult my mother on the topic.

She wasn't much help and kept asking why I didn't just stick to psychology or questioning what was wrong with working at Scream Beans forever.

Being a barista, forever?

I know management is different from the barista title but just thinking about being in a coffee shop working customer service until I retire makes me want to dive off a cliff. Maddy's right, it would be much easier if I had talent or ambition.

"How does it feel to be almost halfway through your twenties? Do you feel old? Any wrinkles? Gray hairs? Achy bones?"

Maddy sets a plate of chocolate chip pancakes down in front of me where she had carefully spelled out 23 with the chips.

I giggle. "No, not yet. Thanks for your concern though."

"Any time." She winks and sits across from me with her own plate.

"Thanks for the breakfast too. I always burn pancakes."

"Yeah, you're pitiful." She teases, digging her fork into the stack to separate a bite size.

My Facebook notifications have been blowing up since I woke up due to my family and childhood friends posting on my feed to wish me a happy birthday. My parents already texted me with their mushy wishes for me to enjoy my day and take it easy. Even Ben texted me, but only because Maddy most likely urged him to.

"Anything special you want to do today?" She asks me, halfway through her stack.

"Not really but Moe's sent me a free burrito coupon that I'm definitely using."

She laughs and lifts up her glass of orange juice.

"We'll have that for lunch then. Have you picked out what you're going to wear tonight?"

I glance up at her and tighten my grip around the fork. "Can we just watch some movies? I don't think I want to party tonight."

"Bree, it's already planned out. Your past few birthdays have been snooze fest central. I'm determined to make it different this year."

"Have you maybe considered that I like how my birthdays are? I don't need big parties to have fun. You know that."

"It's not a big party! Just a get together."

I raise my eyebrows. It isn't possible for Maddy to have just a small get together. She always invites too many people.

"Why don't you wear the dress!"

"No. Definitely not." I argue.

"You have to! You're the birthday girl. You want to look hot, don't you?"

"Not really."

She huffs, obviously bothered by my resistance to conform to her party animal side. I was serious about wanting a nonchalant birthday just the way I like it.

"One day you'll thank me for giving you the highlight of your early adulthood." She boasts.

"I'm sure of it."

I take our empty plates to the kitchen with a smile and shove them in the dishwasher. Maddy rushes in behind me to push me out so I don't try to clean anything since this is my one day of royalty.

"You're being ridiculous!"

"I'm being a good friend. Go find a movie to watch since you want to do that so badly."

"Fine! I will."

I strut on over to the couch and get under Maddy's blanket. They're rerunning Mean Girls on four different channels today so it felt like fate to leave it on. Maddy meets me in the living room when she finishes cleaning up.

"So where is this small get-together supposed to be?" I ask her.

She pulls her legs up on the couch to sit crisscrossed. "Thrive."

"At the club? Seriously, Mads? How many people did you invite?"

"Just a few college friends and what not. It's not a big deal!"

"How did you even manage to rent out the club?"

She laughs and turns her head back to the TV. "I told you, I know the owner guy. That's why my name is always on the list."

She can spare me the details on that one. It's better that I don't know.

"It's settled, then. At eight o'clock sharp, we show up at Thrive, you wearing your sexy black dress and me wearing a slightly lighter and almost equally attractive dress, and we'll party the night away like twenty-three year old's should be able to before they're tied down by marriage and...kids."

"Are you seriously going to make me wear the dress?" I sigh.

"Yes and I'm willing to use physical reinforcement to ensure that you do."