for, lover (Completed; editing)

Chapter 60

The world has always made me feel minuscule considering all that's actually out there. Billions of people. Billions of animals. So much of everything that really puts it in perspective just how big it is.

With Lily's little hand in mine, fingers curled around the end of thumb, I start to feel less small.

I'm big to her. She sees me from down below probably wondering how I got this tall, how my hands grew to this size, how my hair goes all the way down my shoulders to my chest.

She doesn't know much of anything right now, having only been on this earth for a week so to her; Maddy, Ben, and I are her whole world. We're all she's been aquatinted with and all she's used to. She has no idea just how much is actually out there. How much there is to do, to see, to eat, to live. How many people she's going to meet one day that will change her life the way she's going to change ours.

She's going to discover her interests, what makes her laugh, and what captivated her attention. She's going to experience joy, love, and heartbreak just like the rest of us. She's going to get the chance of life that so many of us get and take for granted every single day because we don't understand how easily it can be taken from us.

For right now, she doesn't have to worry about any of that. For now, it's just her and her mommy's best friend sitting on the couch watching Spongebob Squarepants. Maddy's busy in the kitchen cooking dinner for the two of us. Spending time with her mini me is the least I can do for that trade.

Lily falls back asleep after only keeping her eyes open for a few minutes. I get up to lay her in the swing and walk to the kitchen to see if Maddy needs any help.

"Could you set the table? I'm almost done."

"Yeah, no problem." I smile, pulling down plates and cups from the cabinets.

I get everything set neatly on the table and help her bring out the food to the table. She pulls Lily's swing closer to the dining room so she can see her better before she takes her seat.

"Thanks for dinner."

"Thanks for changing a bunch of diapers."

I laugh. "It's no problem."

She smiles and takes a bite of her burger. I shove a fry in my mouth and watch her. She's been really quiet tonight. Almost quiet enough to make me worry.

"Everything okay?" I ask her.

"I'm tired, dude."

"It's only been a week! You've been doing great."

"I don't think I've slept at all. I'm already falling behind in my classes this semester and I really need to get stuff cleaned around here but every time I try, I fall asleep."

"Okay, well when I get off tomorrow how about I help clean up and take care of Lily while you get some of your classwork done?"

"You don't have to do that, Bree." She breathes.

"I want to. Has Ben talked anymore about his work hours?"

She keeps her head low and shakes it. "Not really. He was supposed to talk to his boss about it but who the hell knows how that's going to go. At this point, I feel like a single parent."

"Give him a chance. He is trying."

Her head shoots up.

"What?" I ask.

"Nothing, I'm just shocked to hear you defend Ben." She smirks.

"Don't get used to it."

She laughs and we finish the rest of our dinner and silence.

Maddy falls asleep on the couch with Lily sleeping in the swing next to her. I leave them in peace and go to my bedroom just in time for Tony to be calling me.

I put it on speakerphone and flop down onto my stomach at the edge of my mattress. "Hey!"

"Whatcha up to?"

"Just ate dinner with Maddy."

"Is this a bad time?"

"No, not at all. She's actually asleep now."

He laughs through the speaker. "Oh, okay. Good. I was thinking we should go somewhere next weekend."

"Go somewhere? Like a date?"

"Bree! We are dating. You know that, right?"

"Damn, you could've fooled me."

"I hope you're joking." He mumbles.

"Yes, I'm joking. Where do you want to go?" I kick my feet up behind me and move them around in the air, propping my chin on the palms of my hands.

"Would it be lame if I surprised you?"

"I guess not though surprises aren't really my thing."

"This one will be worth it! I promise."

"Deal. See you then."

He giggles. "Bye."

I hang up the phone and roll over on my back to stare up at the ceiling.

Tony's never really surprised me before so I immediately get anxious thinking about the weekend ahead. I have no idea what he could he planning but it's okay because I trust him well enough to make this count. If he swears it'll be worth it, I'll be dressed to the nines and on my best behavior.

I'm worried Ben won't step up when it comes to the weekends too. He has an excuse for work during the week but Maddy really needs his help when I can't be around at all hours of the day. This is only week one and she's already too tired to function.

I go into work bright and early in the morning to open the store before the sun is even up. Vanessa is waiting for me by the door. She waves and smiles warmly in my direction, stepping inside so I can unlock the door.

"Good morning sunshine." She teases when she notices my tired eyes.

Lily woke up three times during the night that I was lucky to have slept at all.

"Let me get coffee first before I have to fight you."

She snickers and steps behind the counter to clock in and get everything set up for the day.

We have a few regulars in the morning who are easy to please, not really caring if we act like assholes or not because they just want their caffeine before work.

By eight, we start to get busier and the rest of my team shows up to help out in time for me to step off the floor and do my admin work. I can't remember if I even made the schedule for next week or not.

I grab my laptop from the back and set up my things at the table next to the front door. There, I can at least greet people walking in to tell them to have a horrible day. It would be even more confusing for them until they see me wearing my Scream Beans hat.

The front door opens up and I look up to call out the first person I see when Miles hustles through with his cart of boxes.

I get up from my seat and follow him to the back.

"Good morning, Bree. Where would you like your things?"

"The usual spot is fine. Thanks."

He nods and parks the cart right next to the freezer where he starts unloading the boxes onto the floor.

"Need me to sign anything?"

"It's out in the truck. Follow me." He pushes the cart back out the door.

I sigh and walk behind him to the outside lot like a lost puppy.