for, lover (Completed; editing)

Chapter 59

The elevator doors open but I'm too stock-still to force myself through them.

If Levi doesn't have a chance of making it through tonight, I don't think I can stomach seeing that.
If he does have a chance, I risk him blowing my cover.

Those nurses couldn't possibly think I had anything to do with it?

No one knows what I look like. They only know my name and that I was a victim to his crime.

I slowly back away from the elevator and turn to start making my way back to Tony. He was right, this was a shitty idea.

I disappear into the bathroom to undress, leaving the stack of scrubs on one of the unattended carts out in the hall.

Tony stands when he sees me enter the waiting room. He doesn't look mad, just a little relieved.

"I don't know what came over me." I sigh.

He locks his lips, pulling me into his arms and holding me there for a few seconds. "You seem really stressed out." He whispers.

"I am." I mutter into his shirt.

He pulls back to look at me. "Do you want to talk about it? We've got time."

I still haven't told him everything. I just don't think I can and after seeing Miles at work, I feel weird about bringing it all up now. I don't want to look too far into things but it's an ugly coincidence that as soon as I see Miles again, Levi ends up in critical condition in the hospital.

Paranoia, my old friend coming back to haunt me.

I haven't seen or heard from Miles since I got back from Tennessee, the way I intended. I never went by his house to see if he was there. I never checked any social media in case he just so happened to decide to make one and use it.

It shouldn't matter what I tell him. Miles isn't in my life anymore.

"I wanted to make sure it was him." I say softly. "I thought I saw him at the bowling alley with Maddy and lost my fuckin' mind. She told me to stop being paranoid and I've been working on myself trying not to be. I honestly stopped thinking about it when we started...when we got together."

Tony's eyes find mine.

"Then today at work, I saw him." I continue.

"Levi?" He asks.

I shake my head. "Miles."

His shoulders drop. "Your ex boyfriend?"

"Yes. I hadn't seen him since Tennessee. I didn't know he was back. It looks really bad that he would show up the same day Levi gets admitted into the hospital. The nurses don't think he's going to make it."

"So you're just worried because you think Miles did it?"

Hearing it out loud, it sounds horrible. Miles admitted to everything he did and didn't do to all of us. I believed him even with my decision to end our relationship.

"I don't know..." I breathe.

Tony chuckles. "From what I've seen of that guy, I heavily doubt he had shit to do with putting someone on the brink of death."

"I thought he killed my best friend, Tony."

His lips part as he sucks in a deep breath. "What?"

I laugh, slapping my hands down on the top of my thighs. "Yeah."

"He didn't though, right?"

"His best friend did." I huff.

"What the fuck? Well I'm glad you're not with him anymore."

"It was an accident. They were drunk and trying to get away from...Levi, actually."

Tony drags his hands down his face. "Wait, so you went up to Tennessee to talk to Miles about..."

"Selena. My friend who died in the hit and run."

"You got shot in Tennessee because-"

"Levi followed me and Maddy to Tennessee to find Miles and his friends so he could bring Miles' friend, Reed, back to his dealer he was indebted to."

He side eyes me after staring off into space for a few seconds. "Why are you telling me this now?"

"Because I thought you should know."

"Did something happen?"

I lift my head up. "No."

I hate lying. Tony doesn't deserve that after all he's done for me. I'm telling him the important details now hoping that will make up for any lack I decide not to give him just yet.

"I just want you to feel like you can talk to me. Sometimes I think you're holding back when you don't have to. You can trust me." He placed his hand over mine, staring into my eyes assuringly.

"Thanks. I needed to hear that." I smile.

"Any time."

He leans over and kisses me, right in the middle of the hospital waiting room surrounded by all different types of people anxiously waiting for good or bad news.

Whether it's a baby, a surgery, or an attempt to save someone's life, we're all waiting here together for something. Life is always a damn waiting game.

When the next few hours pass by, me and Tony go through fifteen games of 8 Ball on our phones, the fourth Harry Potter movie, and a thirty minute nap when Ben comes out to get us.

I stand to my feet, stretching out my tired muscles from staying in a chair for so long. He has the biggest smile on his face when he walks us back to Maddy's room without a word.

Maddy greets us in a whisper when we arrive, motioning for me to come sit next to her. I take a seat in the chair adjacent to her bed and look over at the pink blanket she has cradled in her arms.

Although she's a little early, she's healthy. Tiny little blonde hairs poke out from the top of her head and she has her arms tucked snugly in the blanket. Her eyes flutter open and my heart melts when they look up to Maddy for the first time.

It's almost impossible not to tear up when a new life is introduced to this world, especially one that is already loved by so many people.

Ben stands next to me and looks over her. I've never seen him this happy, completely engulfed by that unconditional nurturing love at first sight. It looks good on him.
On both of them.

"Did you ever decide on the name?" I ask.

Maddy's smile hasn't broken. She lifts her head up to Ben. "What do you think?"

He places his hand on her shoulder. "You said you'd know when you saw her. This one is all you."

"I know it's basic but I've always loved the name Lily."

"It's not basic. It's perfect." He leans down to kiss the top of her head, bringing out an even bigger smile.

Welcome to the world, Lily.

The world isn't perfect, but everyone in this room right now promises to make it as worthwhile as we can for you.
As if our lives depend on it.