for, lover (Completed; editing)

Chapter 61

Miles opens up the passenger door of his truck and pulls out the clipboard to hand over for me to sign.

I snatch it from his hand and pull the pen I had hidden away in my front pocket. His eyes are on me the entire time this interaction is occurring. I almost want to tell him to take a picture but then he might actually do that.

"Here." I shove the clipboard back to him, not rudely but definitely a little snappy so I can get back to work.

He tosses it back on the seat and shuts the door. He moves his eyes back to me.

"What?" I ask, this time a lot more snappy.

"What? You're the one still standing here." He chuckles.

He's got a point. There's no reason why I shouldn't be back inside now. Am I the one stalling?

"Yeah, well I..."

He laughs. "This doesn't have to be awkward, you know. I'm not childish because you broke my heart."

I have to swallow before I gasp. He did not just openly assume that I broke his heart.
Is he fucking joking?

"Seriously, Miles?"

"Relax. I'm just teasing you."

It's not funny. Not after the shit I went through.

"You got that same goofy charm. How cute." I exaggerate.

He crosses his arms. "Your hair looks long."

"I'm growing it out." I shrug.

"I thought you hated caring for long hair. That's why you keep it right below your shoulders."

"Yeah, well I changed my mind."

Miles scrunches his nose and steps back up on the curb. "It looks good."

"Are you just saying that?"

He twists his neck dramatically towards me. "Why would I just be saying that?"

To get to me.

"I don't know, Miles. I don't know what your definition of anything is anymore. It's safe to assume you'd be dishonest with me about something as simple as my hair considering your lack of remorse to do it with everything else."

He bites down on his lip and walks to the drivers side, pulling open the door swiftly. "I know I can't make you forgive me but instead of putting all this revulsion towards me, choose to live your life instead." He climbs up in the front seat and takes one last look at me. "It wouldn't be fair to your boyfriend to be stuck in the past now would it?"

Miles slams the door shut and drives off.

I want to be surprised that he somehow knew I was seeing someone and that he would mention it.
I'm not. At all.
I'm flattered, actually. He's obviously been paying attention to what I've been up to. I sort of wish he would've stuck around longer for me to find out the same about him.

When I walk back inside all of my baristas are standing behind the counter watching me like a hawk. The in-store traffic slowed down enough for them to direct their attention to see what I was doing.

I wave nonchalantly and sit down at the table I had set up at. They all get back to work except for Vanessa who strolls right over and takes a seat across from me.

"What was that about?" She whispers like we're not supposed to be having this conversation.

I wish we weren't.

"What was what about?"

"You know what. He's our delivery guy now? Are you going to file a restraining order?"

"Shh. Please don't air my business. It's not a big deal. We don't even talk anymore." I keep my voice low.

"No one knows what happened except me and Jesse and he only knows because of your breakdown."

I sigh. "That was last year. I've come to terms with it."

"Terms as in, Tony?"

I laugh. "Yes."

"Are you guys officially official now?"

"Taking things slow because you know how I like to jumpstart into something new without seeing the red flags first."

She taps her fingernails against the wooden table. "What were you guys talking about outside? You looked irritated."

My shoulders drop. "He was just questioning me about my hair."

"What about it?"

"Because it's longer. I don't know. Some weird small talk thing he tried to pull on me."

Vanessa chuckles. "I'll let you get back to work then." She gets up and walks behind the counter to take a customers order.

I use the next few hours finishing up next weeks schedule, giving Vanessa the time off she wanted for that weekend. I hand off the keys to her when it's time to go and walk out to my car.

A text from Maddy pops up on my screen.

"Can you bring home tacos? I haven't eaten"

I laugh and text her back a promise that I would.

I hit up the Taco Bell drive thru on the way home, sitting in line for twenty minutes because some dumb ass ahead of me wanted to order the entire menu. I was already irritable enough and was ready to get home after a long day.

I carry our takeout inside to Maddy who was steadily feeding Lily on the couch. Her eyes are locked to the TV screen.

"I got a couple of burritos too in case you..."

"Bree." She cuts me off.

"What?"

I drop the bag down on the coffee table and look over to the News channel she's watching. My heart starts racing when I see Levi's picture planted on the screen.

I quickly reach for the remote and turn up the volume.

"In other news today, we're reporting the death of Tucker Anderson. Back in July of last year, Anderson was wanted on an account of aggravated assault leading to the hospitalization of bystander, Breanna Taylor. Anderson fled the scene and has been in hiding until one week ago where he was found knocked unconscious with severe head trauma in downtown Charlotte. He died earlier this morning. The investigation to find his attacker is underway."

I can feel Maddy's eyes burning into me. I slowly move my hand to the back of the couch cushion to hold myself up.

There's a ringing in my ears and my heart is pounding so fast I feel as if it could burst any second.

"Bree, sit down. Sit down!" Maddy rushes to her feet with Lily and grabs my arm with her free hand to lead me around the couch.

She slowly pushes me down on the cushion. I'm so out of breath from just standing there.

"Breathe." She says calmly.

She keeps her eyes on me the entire time she puts Lily in her swing. My whole body is shaking. It's aching. I swear I'm on the verge of another panic attack.