That Magical Summer

Chapter 42

“Niall,” you breathed back trying to regulate your pulse. Everything was rushing around you, you didn’t know what to do. But you never had to with Niall. He always knew what to do.

“Y/N,” he whispered. His strong arms instantly wrapping themselves around your shoulders, you pulled back slightly caught off guard. He pulled away with the same smile you remember. The same big, wide smile that never went away. Everything felt like a daze as his face, his lips, moved themselves towards you. A surreal daze.

“Niall!” your hands threw up in a common defense. It took all your might to do so but you had to stop him, “What are you doing?”

“I—I,” he stopped shaking his head, “Y/N.”

“I-I’m sorry. But you can’t just come back pretending everything’s okay,” you whispered surprised at your sudden burst of adrenaline, “That everything’s the same.

“I-I—“

“Because I have been out of my frickin head,” you burst, hands shooting to the tips of your scalp, “Out of my frickin head for you.”

“Me too Y/N,” you heard his words. And you knew he meant them. But Ellie’s words kept ringing through the back of your head ‘They’re only doing two concerts here and then they’re moving on to the other states…’

“I thought you wanted this Y/N,” he said as you realized the others have left the room.

“I do—did—do! I don’t know Niall!” you cried pulling on your hair, “This was a mistake.” Seeing him again brought back all these feelings that you’ve been smothering with chocolate and movies lately. It was the feelings that made you fall in love with him. It was the feelings that drove you mad.

“What was?”

“This. Coming here. Coming back to you like nothing ever changed!” you turned your back but his hand grabbed your wrist harshly pulling you back to face him. His face was red and…hurt.

“Nothing’s changed,” his whispers burned your ears, but the tears burnt more.

“Niall,” you didn’t want to say the words…“You left me.”…that were true.

“Y/N,” it was true. He left you. You avoided the thought as much as you could, telling yourself that he didn’t have a choice. That he loves you and he wouldn’t leave you if he didn’t have to. “I didn’t leave you Y/N. I’m right here.”

“For now!” you cried out with the craving to overpower him. He needed to know how you felt. “For now! You’re leaving Niall. Again!”

“Y/N—“ he reached for your hand as you pulled away.

“Niall. Don’t. You knew from the very beginning that you were gonna have to leave. You knew. And you didn’t do anything about it. You made me fall in love with you, just to leave me Niall!” you’ve never said any of these things out loud. You’ve never said anything even like it.

“Y/N. I didn’t have a choice. I couldn’t waste a whole summer with this—amazing—girl. This girl who makes me feel…normal. Like I’m not just some guy in a boyband, like I’m something more. Like I’m capable of falling in love,” he paused, his chest breathing heavily.

“Well the summer was wasted,” your voice was bitter, something you didn’t know you had in you.

“You see. It wasn’t Y/N. It wasn’t wasted. It was the best summer of life. And I loved every minute of it,” his soft but cold hands now pressing against the sides of your face. Your breathing beginning to interlock like it had those many days.

“Niall. I don’t want to be drawn into something that will last two days Niall. Not even a summer. Two days,” you tried to leave again your heels pivoting against the wooden loft. But instead his hands grabbed a hold of you again holding you tighter than ever. You stood in silence for a few minutes. His nimble fingers found yours holding them tightly intertwined to his. His hot breath against your nose made you tickle with memories. Your eyes closed just remembering everything. You were soon cut from your own brain when his lips touched yours. At first it was a small, light touch that made you shiver. But then he deepened the kiss. It was weird feeling his plush lips against yours again. It was a feeling that you’ve nearly forgotten. But then somewhere in the craze you remembered what Ellie had said again, that he was leaving. And you couldn’t bear to lose him again. “Niall stop.”

“But it’ll be different this time,” he whispered.

“How?”

“We’ll make it work.”

“And how do you suppose we do that,” you felt his hands adjust themselves to your waist.

“We’ll make it work,” his words and his lips were convincing. But it wasn’t enough. He forced himself upon you once more, attacking you with another longing, hungry kiss. It felt good for awhile, but you pushed him away. You smacked your fists against his stocky chest as he flew back with shock. His figure fell onto a blue bean bag as he struggled to get up. 

“Whoa whoa whoa. What’s happening in here?” you flipped around to see the others standing at the top of the stairs. Ellie walked over to your side.

“Do we need to separate you two?” Harry asked like a kindergarten teacher.

“No,” you muttered taking one last look at Niall, “I was just leaving.”

“Why?” Niall struggled to get off the beanbag back onto his feet. You turned to leave, not knowing if you could stay any longer. You bolted down the creaked, wooden steps. You let the small tears drip from your face as you whispered under your breath, just loud enough that no one could hear.

“Because I love you.” And you’re scared.