Love All Over Me- Trey Songz/J.Cole Love Story

Lions, Tigers and Bears

I'm not scared of lions and tigers and bears, no, I'm not

But I'm scared of loving you

I'm not scared to perform at a sold out affair, that's right

But I'm scared of loving you

Am I the only one who thinks it's an impossible task?

Why it don't last? Is that too much to ask?

Why do we love love

When love seems to hate us?

Jasmine Sullivan- Lions, Tigers and Bears

Focusing on food was never my thing. As I listened to my stomach growl the next morning, I felt a desire to eat. As I held the refrigerator door open, I couldn't decide on what I wanted. My hunger turned to nausea. My nausea turned to vomit. After hurling in the toilet bowl, I dressed Azaria and walked out to the garage. I buckled her inside her carseat and before starting the ignition I went to the mailbox, bills, bills, bills and... something from the court. I slid my finger nail under the sealed envelope, tearing it open. I pulled the paper out, unfolding it and read it. It was saying how Jermaine Lamar Cole wanted custody of the now unborn child when it's born... I didn't finish reading the rest because I was so fucking mad! He's doing WAY TOO MUCH! it was papers that needed to be signed indicating that I needed to agree and some other fucking shit.

I got inside the car before double checking if Azaria was buckled and pulled off, driving over to Jay's house. What the fuck.. why does he have to be the complicated one? This is my body and if I wanna get an abortion I will and he can't be on that 'sewing' shit because he doesn't even know if the baby is HIS! I mean, yeah, we did fuck around the time i got pregnant but it could still be Trey's... It could.

I called Jay and he picked up,

"hello?" he answered.

"you got some fucking nerve, I'm outside of your house" I hung up and about 39 seconds Jay stepped out his door with nothing on but dark blue skinny jeans and Jordan sandals. I got out the car with the paper, meeting him half-way, he looked at me and smirked. I pushed him before tearing the paper to pieces and throwing it at him.

"the fuck is yo problem?" he spat.

"what's my problem?! What's YOURS?! trying to get custody of a child that might not even be YOURS! Ooh, I can't even fucking look at you right now" I yelled, looking away and back at him.

"sometimes I think you got a serious problem, how you gone say it might not be mine but over the phone you were just saying how it is mine, come on now" he calmly said. I clocked my tongue and walked back to my car, him following.

"fuck you Jay because even if it is yours, you're not gonna ever see it, trust and believe I'm getting an abortion, this is my body, no nigga who isn't going to go thru the symptoms of pregnancy is telling me what and what not to do" I got inside the car and started to back away. The look on his face was caring and he looked hurt.

"it's coo, I can get more papers from my lawyer" he chuckled, holding his hands in the air. Ah, I take that shit back about him looking caring and hurt. Psh, yeah right. I flipped him off and disappeared from his drive-way. What an asshole.

***

I was scared because what if the baby was Trey's... I mean, I'll be killing his child but nah, I fully doubt it. I'm glad I haven't told anyone because it would have spread like wildfire and I would have really been in a fucked up state of depression.

It was a cloudy afternoon at the clinic in Dallas. Girls were jammed like sardines into the clinic. I counted steadily as girls came and left. I was impatient and ready to get it over with. It was a relief no one noticed me as Caramel or anything because back in Miami, I would have been noticed right then and there on the spot.

In the examination room, the doctor grilled me with questions. The Indian doctor held her board as she checked me and asked questions.

"when was your last period?"

"I don't remember"

"try to remember"

"I can't remember" Damn, this bitch was annoying the fuck out of me. When everything was all said and done, I was 3 months pregnant, or maybe more. But I couldn't be too far along the three-month line.

"what do you want to do?" she asked after a sigh. The look on her face was concern.

"I want to get rid of it, right now" I sternly replied.

She pulled her gloves off, "not so fast. Have you given this any thought, there are options"

I sighed, "I given as much thought as possible, on your commercials, you guys said, 'it's a lady's choice.' now get it out" I knew she could tell the irritation in my voice. She got up and walked to the counter with her back towards me. I sighed, this is gonna be a long day.