Game of Thrones Imagines Book Two

Only the strong survive - Part 6 - Jon x Reader

"You look well." Jon continued softly. Looking up into her emerald eyes as (Y/n) pulled her hand from his.

"Thank you. So, now if you have seen that I am fit and healthy, I will be on my way with Tormund. I am sure that you will be pleased to have me on my way." (Y/n) replied harshly. Doing her best to stay cold towards the Lord Commander. She knew she shouldn't. She knew that he was not to blame for who he had loved. That she couldn't make him love her if he didn't want to. Yet she could not let her guard down. For she knew that if she did, she wouldn't be able to stop the emotions that were growing inside her, from flowing out. She wouldn't be able to stop herself from telling him how she felt. That she loved him. Hated him. Despised him yet adored him. Even now as she glared at him, a look of sadness in his eyes at her harsh tone, she wanted to take her venom filled words back. To turn back time and stop herself from ever saying them. She had been cruel. But there was no other way. She had plans, plans for the future. And she was sure that Jon had his own plans, plans that did not include her.

"I thought........I hoped that you may wish to stay here with me for a little while. I mean, at Castle Black. You could tell me about Tyrion. About what Bran was doing. If he had become a good king. You can tell me how you have been. Where you have been. I............"

"I am sure that you are quite aware how Bran is dealing with his new responsibilities. I cannot believe for one moment, that despite the fact that he had to banish you, that you do not exchange Ravens with him, and, or Sansa. In fact, I would say that you probably know better than I do, how Tyrion and Bran are. I have been away from Kings Landing for far too long to know anything that could interest you, Lord Commander. And as far as telling you about how I am, or where I have been. I cannot imagine that for one moment that you would care. We have to face it, you never cared before. So why start now. Now, if you will excuse me." (Y/n) interrupted, not wanting to let Jon say another word. Not wanting him to stir up any more emotions inside her, than the turmoil that she already felt. The lioness making her way over to where Tormund stood with a heavy scowl on his face. The big man obviously not happy at the interaction. And at that very moment, (Y/n) had the most awful feeling that she was becoming like Cersei. Cold, horrible, cruel. A bitter and jealous creature.

"Ya not coming with me." Tormund told her quietly, as (Y/n) came to stand before him.

"Ya not coming to the encampment until ya tha (Y/n) I know, again. This ain't you. This bitter, unfeeling creature ain't you. Ya sister maybe. But not you. And what would ya brother say if he knew that ya were like this? Tha world is a different place now. Jon is different. Ya should give him a chance. At least spend a little time with him. Ya used ta be friends." Tormund chastised. (Y/n) feeling as though she were a child again. That she was being told off by one of her ladies for getting her new gown dirty. Or even worse, scolded by her father when he believed that she had let him down. And Tormund was right, Tyrion would not have approved of her speaking to Jon in such a fashion. The little lion would have castigated her just as the big man had. And they would both be right. She couldn't blame Jon for what had happened. And staying in Castle Black wouldn't be too bad. It was after all, only for a day.

"I'm sorry, Tormund. You're right, this isn't me. And as much as I cared for my sister, I never want to be like her. Ever. I'll stay here with Jon. And I promise I'll be nice." (Y/n) apologised. Tormund nodding, and pulling her into his arms.

"Now that's tha lioness I know. And be good ta him. He's missed ya." Tormund told her. (Y/n) taking a deep breath as the big man turned her back to face Jon.

"Forgive me, Jon. I am a little tired. I have been travelling by myself for so long, and you sort of lose the art of conversation when the only one listening is your horse. Unfortunately, I found that my mount was not particularly good at talking back." (Y/n) explained with a sad half-hearted chuckle. Jon smiling softly back at her.