g. s. ; ENIGMA - ( 21 )
WARNINGS ; blood.
sextape - DEFTONES
( 4:02 )
⎯
she could barely move from her spot curled up in bed. she was wide awake and yet her entire body felt like it was fast asleep. she told herself that nothing bad could happen if she didn't move. maybe she could even live. even if she was just delaying the inevitable, at least she could delay it for a little bit longer.
but she wasn't doing so for herself. she wasn't afraid of the death that crept upon her. she didn't question her fate or try to bargain, but rather she felt sick to her stomach at the thought of abandoning her lover too soon.
laying on her side, relaxed in his arms. he held her tighter than ever. in his embrace, she felt rhe weight of the horrible thing that she had done. leaving the man that she loved? what a terrible thing. she hated thinking about the nesr future where he'd be left to himself and feeling lonely again after they'd been attached by the hip for months now. she wushed she could reverse it, or take it all back, but the future always came.
when a person gives another so much to the point where even the little things are deserving of the most gratitude, there is a natural urge to repay this person. happiess, success, peace. all things that are a goal to strive for. but after the first smile, it becomes an addiction. an obsession with pride and sureness.
the first time that y/n saw gojo happy because of something she had done, it lit a small spark inside of her, like rhat of a never-ending sparkler. it was like suddenly, her only purpose was to make him smile.
pulled from her thoughts, y/n heard the hushed whispers that left gojo's lips. whether they were meant for her ears or not, she sadly listened in after knowing that he wouldn't say a thing to her if she woke him up.
her eyes were sad and near empty. gojo clenched his jaw and his arms were drawn even tighter around her as he dug his face into the pillowspace beside her neck. he felt so tense in her hands. no matter where she traced her hands over his body, she could feel the shaky tightness of his muscles.
she wished to wake him up to talk, but there was nothing that she could think to say at the moment. what would be the point of apologizing? she could tell him she loved him, but that wouldn't exactly change anything.
despite being terrified of seeing his eyes bore into hers with that look of hopelessness, y/n still pressed her lips to his, hoping to free him from the saddened state of his mind.
she kissed him again and again and again, forcing it more each time just to feel him kiss her back. tears had begun to fall, from the fear that even her affection didn't mean a thing. there was nothing she could do to fix what would happen.
when y/n had begun to give up, and her kiss had gone back to the soft and gentle nature that it always was, she finally felt his body relax. his arms weren't so tight anymore, rather it was the always loving embrace that she knew it was. and as always, he could never go for too long while denying her.
gojo opened his eyes and saw her tears, rushing to comfort her in any way that he could. he pulled her further into his chest and made sure to whisper to her constantly, letting her know that he was still there with her.
"i'm sorry for scaring you," he said.
"you didn't scare me," she sniffed. "you didn't do anything wrong. she reached up to swipe the hair from his face, but it hadn't felt as relaxing as lately his hair was drier than normal. or maybe she just thought that it was.
