Subliminally Taken

6. you need a boyfriend

A/N: Istg if I see one comment in this chapter that says "xanny has left the chat" imma throw hands (it's not funny anymore). It's a fan FICTION!!! Thank you, have a beautiful magical wonderful day

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Billie POV

"For real, I'm doing it right now," Mady giggled.

"Noooo," I whined in protest.

"Billie, why the fuck not? You deserve a boyfriend," she says seriously.

"Because I don't want a boyfriend," I mumble. She looked up at me with a goofy face before shaking her head and looking back at my phone.

Mady downloaded some sort of dating app for 'famous people' so she could find me a boyfriend. I don't want a boyfriend, I want her. She obviously doesn't have feelings for me but my feelings for her grow deeper and deeper every time I see her. It didn't use to be like this, in fact, I only realized I liked her more than a friend about six months ago when she started dating Erik. They'd be all touchy and at first, I thought I was just grossed out by relationships in general but then I found myself missing our little friendship kisses and grew angrier at Erik. Not only was I annoyed that he would sexualize Mady and me way too often but I was angry that he 'took' her away from me in a sense. I missed being the one to cuddle her and make her feel better.

I respect that she's straight and I respected that she had a boyfriend but now that she's single again I find it hard to control myself. I don't want to overstep any boundaries but it seems we haven't set any boundaries.

"What about him? He's totally your type," Mady winked, showing me the phone with a picture of some guy. He is hot. To be honest, I'm just confused about my sexuality. I know for a fact that I have deeper feelings for Mady but if Mady wasn't here I don't know if I would ever have romantic feelings for another female.

"He's okay," I shrugged, staring down at my lap.

"You okay?" Mady asked with a more serious tone.

"Mhm," I nodded, not focusing on anything but my lap.

"Nah, what's wrong?" She put the phone down and scooted closer to me on her bed.

"I- umm..." I froze. I don't think I should tell her. I don't want to jeopardize our friendship. We've had a few ups and downs as we've grown up but nothing major. This could ruin us for real.

"You don't want to go to the party tonight?"

"No, it's not that," I shook my head, finally making eye contact with her. Her dark skin, silky hair and focused eyes put me in a daze and it's hard to think straight.

"Billie, what's wrong?" She asked again, now placing a hand on my shoulder.

"Nothing, I'm just hungry," I lied, and if on cue Mady's dad called us down, letting us know that dinner is ready. We both chuckled at the timing before jumping out of Madison's bed and making our way downstairs.

I usually enjoy these family dinners but today I found it hard to focus on any of the conversations taking place. I knew Mady could tell when she put a hand on my thigh and gave me a sad smile. The thought of her consumed my brain 99% of the time we sat there eating.

"She was so good," Finneas agreed.

"Y'all stop," Zayden's cheeks got red as everyone hyped her up after watching the game yesterday.

I snapped out of it and finally decided to join the conversation, "sorry I couldn't be there," I frowned.

"I get it," Zayden shrugged. As much as I love my life, it sucks not being able to go in public without being mobbed, and it's only getting worse. I would have loved to go watch Zayden play, but I knew that the game would no longer be about the players, it would be about me. I hate that.