Subliminally Taken

18. time is precious

A/N: This is a double upload so make sure you read chapter 17 first.

TW: Talk of a suicide attempt.

-

"Are you sure?" I question anxiously.

"Yes Maddy, you've been here for hours, let Billie take you home," Dad says, wrapping his arms around me.

"Text me if anything changes?"

"I will," he assures me before I walk down the hall and meet Billie in the emergency waiting room. She quickly gets up from the chair to embrace me in a hug, "you ready to go?" She whispers.

"Yeah," I mutter, feeling more exhausted than ever. Billie grasps my hand in hers, walking me to her car. The ride is silent and I can't even process my thoughts properly. I haven't cried yet, I haven't had time to, I didn't let myself, my brain went on autopilot and I had to stay strong for everyone around me.

I felt a tear trickle down my cheek and Billie's right hand travelled to my thigh, rubbing it up and down soothingly. It was dark now, every car's rear lights red as we made our way through the LA traffic that never ends.

⚠️The noise I heard in Zaydens room was the chair being kicked over, I had made it in the room just in time. Adrenaline kicked in and I cut the rope right after she lost consciousness. She'll be okay, they said if I hadn't been their things would have turned out differently.

I didn't know Zayden was doing this bad, I knew she was depressed but none of us knew she was suicidal. Even though I know she's okay, I feel like I should have done something. I shouldn't have pushed her so hard to get out of bed, I should have just listened to her. Maybe if I had made more time for her she would've told me what was going through her head. ⚠️

As we pulled onto my street, I didn't want to face being in the house alone. "Can I stay over at your house?" I asked in barely a whisper.

"Of course," Billie replied gently. My eyes travelled to a dead animal in the middle of the road. It looked pretty big...Was it? No!

"Billie stop," I told her sternly and she slammed on the breaks right in front of our houses. I pulled off the seatbelt, opened up the door and ran out to the middle of the road. "Oby," I called out, running up to his body and kneeling down. "NO! No, Oby," I shouted, my shouting turning into sobs that made my body shake. I felt Billie's hands wrap around my body, lifting me up as my eyes fell shut, tears streaming down my face. "This can't be happening," I cried out, Billie carried me somewhere but I had no perception as to where she carried me, I just let my tears fall.

"Shh baby, I'm right here," I heard Billie whisper and I could see the red glow of her room.

-

"No, it's okay. I have Billie," I told dad through the phone.

"Get some sleep okay? We'll call you tomorrow."

"I love you."

"I love you too Maddison," he uttered before ending the call.

"They're assessing her," I told Billie, cuddling up to her.

"Mady," she whispered.

"Yeah?"

"I-" she sighed, "I don't even have words right now," she confessed. I kissed the side of her neck, a silent way of telling her 'it's okay,' as the room fell silent. Thoughts ran through my head at high speeds as Billie's fingers ran through my hair.

"I think I'm gonna apply to those schools," I broke the silence.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah, I've wanted to be a film director my entire life and I don't know," I shrugged, "life is too short to doubt myself. If I don't get in then it is what it is but I want to at least try."

"You should, and I'm sure you'll get in."

"You think?"

"If you don't, I'll hire you to film my music videos," Billie said seriously.

"I'm gonna miss Oby."

"I know baby, me too," she kissed the top of my head. It just feels like everything is going downhill. Today's made me realize how short life is and how precious time is, especially time with the people you love; you never know when they'll leave.