Dreams Over Reality

The Many or The Few

The alarm wakes you up in the morning, the sun breaking through the blinds in your window and the distinct smell of the morning dew invades the air.
There's a moment of serenity before reality takes its toll.
Fuck.
One big sigh before you leave your bed and lazily walk to the bathroom sink and brush your teeth.
Your bed hair and morning face disgust you
You pick up your phone and check the time over and over again.
It's repetitive.
It's mind numbing.
It's almost like you're going insane, isn't it?
" Where are they?", you wonder.
Only then do you realize that they left you last night and didn't intend on coming back.
They left you high and dry like the piece of shit they are.
They couldn't handle you.
They couldn't handle emotions or complexities in a "serious" relationship between two adults.
They couldn't handle dealing with being an adult let alone acting like one.
What a fucking joke, huh?
Yeah, I know.
The cynical attitude sinks in as your day is consistently ruined by the daily rituals you used to enjoy together but now are forced to deal with alone.
Eating cereal, watching TV, scrolling through the socials, and even taking a shower is no longer the same.
The few moments of decency are when you masturbate to feel some form of dopamine rush only for the many moments of depression and self-loathing rush back into your mind.
You're left in more than just a state of emergency, you're left to your demons.
"Which is worse?", you wonder.
Either way you're alone and it's gonna be paranoia and barriers in every situation where you feel safe with someone other than your bed.
Suddenly the repetition of being alone is almost cathartically calming.
You do your daily rituals and feel so comfortable in this zone of solitude and singularity.
You forgot the part where it cut yoursel— oh wait. . .you don't anymore, do you?
Suddenly the toxic behaviors of your past are now lesser beings.
This is your new happiness and it's okay.