Dreams Over Reality

Tears

There's something poetic about the rain
Not the fact that the sounds are relaxing a-and calming
I think its the fact that they remind you so much about the past
I hate it
One thing I hate the most is remembering
Remembering the better times I've had
Remembering the pain i've felt
Remembering it all
And the worst part is remembering feeling happy
You look back with a grin on your mouth and tears falling out of your eyes
I loved what happened within the 2015-2016 years
I hated that happened within the last year though
So much pain
Too much pain
Nobody. .not a single person has ever came and asked me about it
Not a single person wanted to know why I was so depressed
Even when they knew. .nothing happened
They just figured I would be them and forget within a month
Nah. . .fuck that
It is a problem
It really is
No matter how many times I have to repeat myself or how many times I have to cry i will never forget the pain
And no matter how many glances to my possible future I have
Nothing will ever be rewarding
I want to end up dead
I do
But I don't at the same time and it eats away at my heart
I just put a smile on my face and carry on
Not even a smile actually
Just a poker face
Everyone is so oblivious to the obvious
It's time to wake up
Emmanuel it's time to face yourself
You're just so afraid of the one thing you want
You want to be alone but you're too afraid to linger in it for extended periods of time
Just fucking do it
Kill yourself
All of this can be avoided if you just move somewhere else and make sure you're dead to everyone
Stop telling people your plan
You're dead to them
Wipe away the tears
Please