[[[忘羡 | WangXian 1]] : The Second Kiss That Came Too Soon

[11.] Lan Zhan (I)

 
- Hmmm.

Lan Zhan's heart froze. 

He was expecting a joke, or some mockery how it all never mattered anyway, or straight out cold indifference. Just the usual bad things. But he never expected silence. Wei Wuxian was keeping silent, for hours now.

They were descending down the mountain, to a valley that was rumored to be infested, and that they had the task of cleansing. Halfway down, there were several caves, and they had to choose one to set camp for the two nights of hunting ahead of them.

Only a very small fraction of his mind was occupied by those mundane details, although he clearly realized that they were important. Wei Ying had started to shiver with cold, the night was humid and chilly; a storm was approaching, and Lan Zhan was glancing skywards from time to time,  hurrying ahead as much as the tired horse's strength would allow it.

He was trying not to think. This kind of torture – the pain of not knowing – was all too familiar to him. He chose a state of apathy to protect his heart from breaking. He had to choose this state too much too often lately. 

He had poured out his soul in front of a stranger today, and he was mortified of the consequences. No physical wound or cut could compare with the slashes in his heart, dealt by this prolonged silence. He was numb, automatically spotting, choosing and unpacking their belongings inside the first cave they came up to.

He had to light a fire. He had to take care of things. 

He had duties, and duty always came first.