[[[忘羡 | WangXian 1]] : The Second Kiss That Came Too Soon

[43.] Dream.

What would they do if his brother disagreed? Where would they go? 

The Jiang Clan wasn't aggressive or belligerent, but they were proud and would defend the family honor till the last drop of blood. Will they consider Wei Wuxian as truly one of them? Jiang Fengmian was a wise and reasonable man, but still. And Wei Ying... how could he make him feel safe, how can he assure him that he was serious about his words and promises, about his intentions? Even after the proposal, he still was moody and distracted, and he would drift away in a dream too often. 

What was on his mind? What was bothering him? Lan Zhan was exhausted by all the stress and the tension between them, although he was doing his best to hide it.

- I miss you.  –  he murmured.  –  I miss the boy I fell in love with, Wei Ying.

Wei Wuxian nodded. He understood.

- The love I carry for you is too big  for my heart, and it is cracking, it's breaking, Lan Zhan.... I wish I was better for you... you deserve better.

- Impossible.  –  Lan Zhan said firmly.  –  I have the best, I cannot hope for any better; there is no "better".  

His hand dropped the rein and caressed Wei Ying's hair. 

– Let me tell you who you are, because it seems you do not know yourself, Wei Ying.

The smaller boy let go of his waist, and turned to face him, staring at his serious face, and those golden eyes, searching for his answers there.

- I see someone who is loved and admired by all the people around him. I see a beautiful person with a beautiful soul... I see milk-white skin, as gentle as silk... I see lips that are delicate and soft... I see eyes that are the color of legends...stars shine in them, the night sky is reflected in them... I see a mind that is fast and wit that is sharp... I see talent and excellent memory...   

Lan Zhan was telling the tale of his love, almost falling into a trance, mesmerized by the image that lived in his mind, and in his heart.

- I see strong sense of justice and a moral compass that never falters... I see honor and pride, I see courage... I see someone so magnificent that he stole my heart without me even noticing... Someone whom I cannot stop thinking about, dreaming about, yearning for... I wish this person could see himself through my own eyes, and see how much I treasure him. Then, he would certainly know, he certainly won't ever again doubt, that he is loved, that he belongs, that he will never be alone, ever again... that he is mine, and I am not giving up what's mine.

Lan Zhan lifted his eyes to meet Wei Ying's, his cheeks flushed. Tears had dried up, and he was just listening now, lips slightly parted, quiet, trying to process all the words he had just heard.

- Are you a dream?  –  he whispered.  –  Sometimes I think I am dreaming all this up, it is too good to be true, Lan Zhan...  How can someone like me  be blessed with the love of someone like you? – he was looking up, staring at his lover's face, almost with a sense of curiosity, like someone would look at a rare jewel, or a wonder of nature.

- I am very  real. All I'm saying is also very  real. And I might have a way to prove it to you, Wei Ying.  –  Lan Zhan said coarsely.

He bent a little and kissed, and bit into those soft lips that were so ready to kiss back, so eager to please. Wei Ying wrapped his arms around his neck and pulled himself closer to his body, sitting in his lap.

- Lan Zhan... can we...  -  he was almost afraid to ask.

Lan Wangji said nothing but directed the horses into a field on the side of the road, until they reached an area with high grass and shrubs growing densely enough. He doubted anyone would see them, but he couldn't take any chances. Wei Wuxian was pressing himself to him, shivering slightly. 

Lan Zhan hoped his plan would work.

He hoped he could help heal him.

They were kissing passionately and messily as Lan Zhan had to direct the horse as well, and only stopped for as long as they both could dismount. His hands were undressing Wei Ying hastily  –  he could already undress him even with his eyes blindfolded. Wei Ying was moaning, aroused, trying to help Lan Wangji take off his own clothes faster  –  both were impatient to have access to each other's naked skin as soon as possible.

Wei Ying was ready to lie down on the heaps of clothes as usual, when he suddenly felt Lan Zhan's hand on his arm, stopping him. 

He looked at him, in surprise.