If It Means A Lot To You... (Frerard)

(14.) Always

{A/N Trigger Warning....}

I ignored my mother as she tried to talk to me, and ran up to my room, flopping onto my bed. The tears flowed out freely.

Trenton hated me.

The realization stung more than any pain I felt in my entire life. Trenton had been my best friend. More than Joshua and Vincent. They never even paid any attention to me, they were too focused with each other.

What more did they want? I already stopped eating to make myself look halfway presentable. Even then, I was still grossly thin. I tried to eat again, but I had gone so long without doing it properly it just didn't work for me anymore.

I flung open my drawer beside my bed and searched for the object of my desire. A sharp pain shot through my finger, there is was.

I pulled out the razor and stared at it. Here we go again. After almost a year of holding back, I was at it again.

Nine. I gave myself nine. Nine was the number of years I had known Trenton. Nine was the number of years he'd lied about being my friend.

I started to cry and I grabbed my pillow, squeezing it hard, trying to ignore the intense pain in my arm. Stupid decision.

My blood would stain the pillow. My mom cleaned my sheets. She would find out I'd gone bad again.

I felt my phone buzz in my pocket. Sniffing, I removed it from my jeans and looked at who was calling. It was Frank.

Shit.

He was going to find out. I started to panic, hyperventilating and chewing on the skin around my fingers, causing another part of me to bleed.

The phone stopped buzzing and I sighed in relief. Frank wouldn't call back again, surely. I wasn't that important.

My phone began to buzz again.

I whimpered from the pain in my arms and picked it up to answer it. "Hi, Frank," my voice croaked out. It was hoarse from crying.

"Gee, baby," Frank sounded worried. "Are you okay? You didn't answer my calls. You know what I'm coming over there."

"No," I tried to say, but he'd already hung up. I wasn't ready for him to find out.

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I was laying down on my bed and cuddling my pillow when my door opened. "Gee?" Frank was here. I turned around to look at him.

His face dropped and he rushed over to me, laying a hand on my head. "Frankie," I whispered to him, more tears falling from my face. "I'm sorry."

Frank lifted my arm and his face fell even more just looking at it. "I'm gonna clean you up, baby," He kissed my forehead and got up to walk into my bathroom. I heard the sound of running water.

Frank came back into my room with a wet towel. He sat down beside me again and picked up my arm. He began to wipe away the blood on my arms.

When he'd finished he wrapped his arms around me in a hug. I started to cry into my boyfriend's chest. "Shh, Gee," he soothed, stroking my hair with his fingers. "I'll be right here for you."

"Really?" I sniffed looking up at his handsome face.

Frank nodded at me. "Always."

{I cried tbh

THIS WAS SO EMOTIONALLY PAINFUL TO WRITE OMG

I hope you guys don't h8 me 5ever cuz ily all.}

~Carry On~

Ari Thomas<3