If It Means A Lot To You... (Frerard)

(20.)Trying

(((More feelings vibes)))

Trenton's dad eventually came home and took me from his son. I was a sobbing mess, and I was so weak from running and falling.

His dad sat me down on one of the couches and looked at me sympathetically, I could see the tears threatening to spill from his eyes, but he had to be strong for his daughter, now the only child.

With shaking hands, I removed my phone from my pocket and dialed Frank's number.

"Hello?" He said and I immediately started sobbing again. "Gee, baby what happened?" His worried voice sounded in my ear.

"F-Frank, I-I'm at T-Trenton's house," I sniffed, wiping my face with my hoodie sleeve. "P-please come o-over." I stumbled over my words quite a bit due to my crying.

"I'll be right over baby." Frank hung up and I set my phone down on the couch, looking up at the ceiling.

I was basically just a big ball of feeling right then, nothing else mattered. My best friend had just died. Not just died, killed himself. It was all my fault.

Trenton's note was still squished into my tightly clenched fist, although I knew I'd have to show it to his father eventually.

I didn't think I would have the strength to get off the couch when Frank came over. My bones and chest were aching, along with my heart

My mind felt numb, drowning out all the sounds of Trenton's dad sobbing along with Rainie coming from upstairs.

I couldn't feel anything.

I was trying. Trying so hard to understand Trenton.

The note said he'd been in love with me. Was I the reason he and Soren didn't work out? I covered my face with my hands, soaking them, once again, with tears.

Why would anybody love me, anyways. Not even Frank did. Or at least he hadn't said it to me. He probably wouldn't anytime soon since we'd been together for only a few days.

As for Trenton?

I had no idea he had been feeling that way. He never showed any signs of being in love with me.

The only thing Trenton had ever been towards me was friendly. He comforted me when I was upset. He was the person I trusted with all my secrets.

Trenton had even been the only person I'd ever told about my eating problems, and other various things.

He was never upset at me. If I cried, he would hold me and make sure I was okay, which was normal best friend stuff.

But love?

There was never anything in the way he acted that suggested he felt any other way about me than he acted.

Maybe Trenton had just come to that realization a few days ago, right when he had started dating Soren.

I guess it didn't really matter. I'd never now what exactly my best friend had been feeling. I would never understand now that he was gone.

But I was trying, and that was all I could really do now.

{CRI

I don't rlly know, I have a vvv bad headache rn but I don't care.

My school had a dance today but I ditched to hang out w/ my friends even though I already paid for it lol.

Anywho, I love you, :3}

~Carry On~

Ari Thomas<3