Everyone has a reason {Bellatrix lestrange x female reader}

fields of daisies {TW-self harm}

y/n/n = your nickname

Bella came and sat down opposite me placing a plate of food infront of me , but again i didnt eat.

"whats wrong don't you like my food?" she said , locking eyes with me.

"no- look Bellatrix... i'm just not hungry" i replied

"i don't buy it y/n/n , you've said your not hungry for two days , we aren't leaving until you eat" she said whilst looking at me with a serious face

she didn't lie , we sat there until i finished the the bowl of fruit salad. Every bite was agony but i really didn't want to argue.

As i finished my food , she got up and waltzed over to my chair . She squatted down so she was more level with me .

"good job honey"

*time skip to about two hours later*

Narcissa and Lucius were apparently moving into a different manor and me and Bella had just been watching tv all day when she out of nowhere turned it off .

"i'm getting called for a death eater meeting" she said "are you okay to go and get your clothes and stuff"

"yeah.. how long is the meeting ?" i asked

"i'm not sure , just when you come in go into my room or the library or something , he wouldn't be happy with someone interrupting the meeting" she said

i noticed her emotions had changed , she seemed so tense , it wasn't obvious but i've always been good at reading people but i decided not to put her in a bad mood .

i heard a knock at the door and Bella motioned for me to go .

I apparated to my parents house , just as i had hoped , no one was there , i knew they always go away at this time of year .

As i walked through this hell hole of memories i noticed little things that sent my mind spiraling.

little shards of glass , droplets of blood that weren't cleaned properly , dishes that hadn't been done in months .

I made it to my bedroom . It was a mess. pages of books scattered on the floor that i had ripped out from anger then i notices blades . a lot of blades .
I ignored it all and started to apparate my bags of clothes to Malfoy Manor , they should appear in Bellas room .

Then as i sent the last bag i picked something up . It was a small glass figure of two swans , my parents got it for me when i was 10.

sadness overtook my body and clouded my mind  , i grabbed a shard of glass and impulse washed over me as i started to cut down my arms , going over the cuts and scars that were already there .

as i looked down staring at the blood on the floor , i picked up the glass swan , tears filling my eyes .

I apparated back to the manor , drastically sobbing , letting angry curses fall from my mouth , as i failed to notice the many eyes that lay on me.

Still not noticing the death eater meeting , I stormed to the nearest empty room and started breaking everything in sight .

I blacked out into a fit of rage , i hated everyone , i hated myself .

My thoughts were out of control

*why would my parents treat me like that*

*did they not love me*

*why did they even have a child*

*i hate them. i hate them . i hate them*

*Bellas POV*