Everyone has a reason {Bellatrix lestrange x female reader}

it starts in the library {TW ~smut}

i made this double the usual length as it took me so long to update lmao i'm sorry but i'm so unmotivated and i'm in Croatia on holiday lol
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*two weeks later cos i'm lazy*

It had been two weeks since my attempt , Bellatrix was helping me recover , im ten days clean from self harm and ive been going to all of the death eater meetings . Me and Bella attend death eater training together and its going really well , i also noticed Igor hasn't shown up to any meetings since i last saw him , i know Bella had something to do with it but she denies any accusations.
Im not sure what my suicide attempt did to me because not only did i regain my strength , but i feel more powerful, i feel so full of energy

*3:15pm*

i was sat in the library reading over some new spells , there were some really interesting ones that i had been dying to try out, i was very abruptly interrupted from my thoughts when Bella burst through the huge wooden doors of the library
I flinched and dropped my book as she made her way over to me and picked it up

"the history of dark spells" she read out and then proceeded to bend down next to my ear
"hm interesting" she whispered and shivers went down my spine

*why the fuck did that turn me on*

"y-yeah whats up my love" i said in a rather pathetic tone

she hummed as she straddled my lap
"mmmh not much just bored.."

i raised an eyebrow and she wrapped her arms around my neck
"oh is that so?" i said smirking

"yep , i think you might be able to help me..pet" she said softly and seductively

"really ?" i replied , still playing the innocent card
i decided i could have a bit of fun with this , usually bella would be teasing me but once i had seen this opportunity , i decided i should take it .
i lifted bella up off my legs and walked over to a shelf and placed the book i was reading back in its place .

"what are you doing" i heard a playful voice say as i felt her arms snake around my waist

"nothing my love just finding something better to read , i was getting bored of the other book" i said with zero emotion

"i know what we can do to cure your boredom" she whispered seductively

god i was trying so hard not to show any signs of weakness
"hm? well let me pick a new book and you can tell me all about it" i grinned

suddenly i felt my back being pushed harshly against the bookcase and i was spun around to be met with Bellatrix's deep brown eyes

"i don't know what your playing at y/n but i suggest you stop being a little whore" she said in a harsh tone

"i don't know what you mean Bels" i said innocently
Her hand gripped around my neck and that was what did it for me , my breath hitched and i lost all my confidence
"you know very well what i mean , so cut the act before or they'll be consequences" she raised her voice slightly

"i'm afraid i still don't know what you mean"...
"i guess you'll have to show me" it took all the confidence in me to say that

She chuckled and leaned down to my ear
"oh you little slut, practically begging to be fucked by me"

i was breathless , i couldn't say anything so all i could do was nod but was then met by her hand tightening the grip she had around my neck
"use your words ! what do you want me me to do" she gritted through her teeth