FREAKS (mikasa)

52.i'll just let you live

𝐅𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐊𝐒

9:48 PM

NOW PLAYING:CINNAMON GIRL- LANA DEL REY

after saying goodbyes and exchanging phone numbers and socials you four went your separate ways. rosè got into the front seat of her boyfriend's car, feeling ill.

'i don't know what i should do'

she stared at the dashboard blankly, her thoughts still processing that she can't keep lying to herself about being straight and being attracted to men.

loren came into the drivers seat and started up the car silently before driving out to head to roseanne's house.

'...should i tell him now? or wait a few days...' her hands shook in her lap with anxiety. 'i have to tell him eventually'

"loren." she spoke with nervousness, causing the boy to side eye her for a second then look back at the road. her heart began racing, 'this is gonna hurt him but i need to do this'

"hm?" the car stopped at a red light, his ring decorated finger tapped on the steering wheel whilst waiting for the light to turn green.

"...so uh, you know how...we keep going on and off?" she tripped over her words.

"yeah?"

"well, i...uh." she started but a lump formed in her throat, causing her to stop her statement

"what's the matter?"

"i am so sorry for this." she looked at him with a puddle of tears flooding her vision before one rolled down her cheek. the boy grew concerned, he was very confused.

"what is it-."

"i-i think im a lesbian..." she said in a whisper.

his dark eyes widened, lips parted from shock "oh..."

more tears fell from her eyes hearing it, feeling nothing but guilt now. he wanted to comfort her but didn't know how, all he could do was watch.

"how long have you known?" he asked, anxious for an answer

"since we first started dating." she said in a quiet whisper, she turned her head away from him in shame before crying into the sleeve of the jacket she wore. it was his jacket may i add.

a lump formed in his throat, 3 almost 4 years with one sided feelings. it hit him like a truck on a highway, he stared down at the steering wheel with tears clouding his vision.

"i-im sorry, you're a lovely man and i truly enjoyed my time with you but...it wasn't real." she sniffed before hearing a cry come from her boyfriend. it was the first time she'd ever seen him cry.

"why would you even stay for this long if you didn't love me." his voice started to raise.

"i thought i did, i really thought i did but...i didnt. but now i know i liked the idea of you." she admitted, which tore him apart even more. "im sorry i had to end it like this." she turned to him with twinkling eyes from the tears. the rest of the drive was both of them crying in silence,