Jealousy // dreamnotfound

::15::

"What are we?"

The question is asked effortlessly, but the reality is much different.

The question holds layers of fear and restlessness under them, as the person asking has stayed up countless nights thinking about it.

"Best friends, why are you asking?" Karl responds, sending Sapnap through a loop.

Sapnap immediately wants to retract his statement. To act as if he never said anything, but he chooses to play it off instead. "I was just wondering because you've been kind of distant lately, I thought you were mad at me."

"No, I'm not, you're still my best friend," Karl says with a laugh, the words stinging Sapnap's chest.

"Right, sorry for doubting anything," he says, laughing to mask the hurt Karl's words make him feel.

Sapnap turns around and begins to leave before Karl speaks again. "Where are you going?"

"Back to my dorm," Sapnap says, not wanting to be by Karl anymore right now. He wants to crawl into his bed and mope around for a week.

"Can I come with you?" Karl asks innocently, smiling.

The two had originally been out on a study 'date'—in hindsight, maybe Sapnap shouldn't have decided internally that it was a date before confirming with Karl—at Starbucks. Now, they're both done with their homework, and frankly, Sapnap is done with this conversation.

"I'm just going to take a nap, you don't have to come with me," Sapnap says, trying his best to smile. He wonders how sad the attempt looks. Karl doesn't mention it.

"Okay, I'll see you tomorrow," Karl says, and Sapnap nods.

Their studying had happened during lunch on Monday, so Sapnap unfortunately missed hanging out with the group and couldn't bother Dream about how he didn't come home last night. Now, though, he doesn't think he has the energy to pester his friend.

Sapnap and Dream arrive at the dorm at the same time, surprising each other. Their classes are done for the day and usually Dream is out simping over George or something on a bench, Sapnap has no clue. He just knows the blonde isn't typically home at this time.

They both slump into their beds with a sigh, almost completely in sync. Sapnap stares at the ceiling but can feel Dream's gaze on him.

"Rough day?" Dream asks, almost as if he can hear Sapnap's thoughts.

"Something like that," Sapnap shrugs. "What about you?"

"Sleepless night, so same here," Dream says, not elaborating any further.

The two of them have always found comfort in each other's silence. They don't often talk about their problems, but sometimes after the silence had lingered for maybe a little too long, they end up spilling everything. Sapnap doesn't know if he's ready now, though.

The two of them don't say much else to each other that day. They've just mutually decided that they'll ask the other when the time is right. What Sapnap doesn't need right now is comfort. He needs rational thinking to try to solve the mess he's gotten himself into.

He's allowed himself to fall for Karl Jacobs.

Sapnap, the asshole that never lets anyone steal his heart, has fallen for one of his best friends. Karl is different, though. He's a ray of sunshine, truly one of the kindest souls Sapnap has ever met.

So why? Why doesn't Karl feel the same way? It tears him apart to know that the person he likes so much doesn't harbor the same feelings.

Still, he can pretend. He'll pretend like he's not desperately down bad for the brunette if that means they can stay friends. He can act like the kiss during spin the bottle had never happened—and the chaos that ensued afterwords—if it means he can continue seeing Karl every day.