𝐒𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐛𝐢𝐫𝐝

𝓜𝓪𝓽𝓽𝓻𝓮𝓼𝓼

𝐎𝐥𝐢𝐯𝐢𝐚'𝐬 𝐏𝐎𝐕

"Where's Rachel?" Kurt asks as he sets a stack of Thunderclaps on the piano

"She's not here yet." Finn tells him

"Perfect. Glee club stands on a delicate precipice.  We have all felt the cold humiliation of a slushee in the face. But as of right now, our relative anonymity as a club shields us from more severe persecution: swirlies, patriotic wedgies." Kurt says

"What's a patriotic wedgie?" Mercedes asks

"It's when they hoist you up the flag pole by your undies" Finn says

"Strangely, it did make me feel more American." Artie says

"I'll pass. That slushee is enough for me." I say

"Based on my investigation, I am of the opinion that a yearbook photo would only fuel the flames of anti-glee-club terror. I've done a little library research." Kurt says before opening a Thunderclap

"Peter Gellar. Glee club second tenor, 1998. He can be seen here with both a drawn on Hitler mustache  and rice paddy hat. Shortly after the yearbook came out, Mr. Gellar had a nervous breakdown. He is now the homeless man who sleeps in front of the public library." Kurt tells us

"Patches?" Quinn asks

"Patches." Kurt tells her

"He barks at my mom." Mercedes says before Kurt opens another Thunderclap

"He barks at me." I say

"Exhibit B: Tawny Peterson, glee club class of 2000, seen here in her photo with a cartoon knife stuck in her head, in a macabre tableau that, in four years would prove eerily prescient. I think I speak for all of us when I say that not having to pose for a  yearbook photo might be a blessing in disguise. I suggest not fighting Figgins' ruling." Kurt says

"Oh, hey, guys. Ah, looking at old Thunderclaps?" Mr. Schue asks as Mercedes and Kurt close the two open ones

"It's really unsettling." Artie says

"And totally unfair. Hey, can I borrow one of these?" Mr. Schue asks as he takes a Thunderclap from Kurt

"You know what? This year's thunderclap is going to have a glee club photo with every one of your smiling faces. You have my word on it." Mr. Schue says before he walks out of the choir room

✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧

"Hey, guys! Great news! Glee club gets a photo in the thunderclap." Mr. Schue says before we all fake excitement

"Yep. It's going to show everyone at the school that glee club is on its way up. When we win regionals, those claps are going to be collector's items. I mean, all of your classmates are going to be begging for your autographs. But, I had to compromise to do it. Um, we only get a quarter page in back. Which means we have to pick two team captains to appear in the photo. So, tomorrow we're going to put it to a vote! Exciting, huh? All right!" Mr. Schue exclaims

✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧

"Well, we're all here. I guess we should vote." Mercedes says as I sit down between Mike and Matt

"With your permission, I have prepared a few words." Rachel says as she walks to the front of the room

"I nominate Rachel." Mercedes says

"Second." Kurt and I say I'm unison

"All right, let's vote up in this piece. I gotta go hit the gym and load up the guns of Puckerone for the football picture." Puck says as he passes the index cards to Mike