𝐒𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐛𝐢𝐫𝐝

𝓣𝓱𝓮 𝓟𝓸𝔀𝓮𝓻 𝓞𝓯 𝓜𝓪𝓭𝓸𝓷𝓷𝓪

𝐎𝐥𝐢𝐯𝐢𝐚'𝐬 𝐏𝐎𝐕

"Santana. O. What does your bracelets say?" Coach Sue asks us

""W.W.M.D."" Santana and I say in unison as we each hold up our right wrists

""What would Madonna do?" Well, the answer to that question is usually: Date a younger man. So, let's see some arm candy, girls. Sorry, freshmen. You're going to have to start trolling the middle schools. And you know why? 'Cause if you want to be as riveting a performer as Madonna - a skill that will nab us Nationals this year - you're going to have to start thinking like her, acting like her. Also, Ã la Madonna, I will no longer acknowledge that any of you have last names. Becky Jackson. From now on, you're just Becky." Coach Sue says causing Beck to clap enthusiastically from beside me

"You know, it's like Madonna once said, "I'm tough, I'm ambitious, and I know what I want. If that makes me a bitch, okay." I'm pretty sure she stole that line from one Sue Sylvester. No, really, she stole it from me. I said it first. Palladium. '87." Coach says

✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧

"Can I ask you guys something private?" Rachel asks as Quinn and I draw an unflattering sketch of Rachel, complete with the word 'LOSER' across the top of the page

"Yes, you should move to Israel." Santana says

"I agree with S." I say without looking up from the notebook before Rachel grabs a stool and moves in front of us

"It's about dating. Not that I'm dating anyone. We  all know that Finn and I are no longer an item, and for the sake of the team, I broke up with Jesse. But let's just say I was dating someone. But let's just say, hypothetically, we went to a Wiggles concert last Friday night, and then because my dads weren't home, we went up to my room and started making out. It was erotic and romantic. And then he said we should do it and I said no. What if then he got really crabby and left, and didn't even take home the Care Bear I won him playing Skee Ball?" Rachel asks

"Would you please stop talking? You're grossing out my baby." Quinn tells her

"I just want to be ready; I know I'm getting older, and these things are going to happen someday, but how do I stop a guy from getting mad at me for saying "no"?" Rachel says

"Just do what I do. Never say "no."" Santana says

"Oh, totally. I mean, what's the worst that can happen? Sorry, Quinn." Brit says

"Look, girl, don't ask me. The last guy I liked was the mayor of gaytown. And I can't wait to get a guy mad at me for saying "no."" Mercedes says

"We just have to accept that guys don't care about our feelings. Like, the other day, I was walking with Artie and he told me if I wanted to be with him I had to "lose the vampire makeup and consider some tighter fitting clothing."" Tina says

"That's gotta sting." Rachel says

"I can't relate. Matt is the perfect gentlemen." I tell them

"And so is Mikey." I add

"Hey, guys. I'm sorry to interrupt your little sorority, but I couldn't help but overhearing. Are you really having that much boy trouble?" Mr. Schue asks

"You wouldn't understand, Mr. Shue. You're a guy." Quinn tells him

"Well, then maybe you should talk to someone else about it. Like Ms. Pillsbury." Mr. Schue suggests

"I tried that. She started talking really fast and she got all fidgety." Rachel tells him as the bell rings

"The fact is is that women still earn 70 cents to every dollar that a man does for doing the same job. That attitude starts in high school." Quinn tells him as I gather up my stuff