Let's do it again /𝐎𝐥𝐢𝐯𝐢𝐚 𝐑𝐨𝐝𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐨

Twenty two

Dinner is supposed to be a good time with people you enjoy like family and friends. But this is kinda different how am I supposed to enjoy this meal with Olivia literally staring at me like I'm a peace of chicken that she wants to eat.

I haven't really spoken much only when I'm asked something and that's pretty usual and I don't want to ruin anything or say the wrong thing which i know I will if I start talking and I will say something dumb.

Olivia keeps looking at me like im not going to catch her and as I look at her she doesn't look away she keeps starting. I give her that 'what do you what' stare and she just shrug her shoulders and then turns to her mom.
If that isn't enough now my ex girlfriend's mother is talking to me which i just look at her to let her know I'm listening.

"Jayden aren't you in a relationship?" I just stunned by this question and how it came out of nowhere. All eyes are on me my mom, Olivia and miss Rodrigo this is awkward.

" Not really no but I'm not really looking for anyone either." I told her with a simple nod
" Oh I thought you got all the guys" i turn to my mom and she just nods as a sign that she approves what I'm about to say
" Hmm... about that I'm actually more into girls" I can see the girl in front of me looking at me from the corner of my eye as a talk to her mother.

Her mother smiles "Well then let me correct myself girls" I smile at her and nod.
This isn't as awkward as I thought it would be the only problem is the miss I need to focus on my career that's sitting infront Of me.

My mother gently places her hand on my back as I turn to her and give her a smile and she just laughs.

-------

We're getting our dessert, and me and Olivia still hasn't said a word to each other. If you don't count ur little in counter in the office.
" i will be back I need to go to the bathroom" going to the bathroom I simply pull out my phone and calls Teia.
And of course like always she doesn't answer my calls. I look into the mirror only to hear the door to the bathroom open. I already knew who it was of course she would follow me here.

I don't even spare her one look as I keep on lookin into the mirror. Not even looking at myself not just her I can't talk to her that would break me once again and the pain will start all over again and I can't let that happen. She did the right choice with breaking up with me she didn't want to leave me alone and set boundaries while she was away. Like she thinks that even after she broke things off I would go kiss the first person that makes my eye twitch.

Then she thought wrong...

" Jay can we talk " she finally spoke as my eyes turn away from the mirror down at my shoes as a sigh. Why does need to happen can't I be happy for once in my life. I meet her eyes her eyes slowly turns soft as she sees the hurt and sadness in them.

" I'm sorry but you've lost the privilege to call me Jay and I'm not ready to talk to you yet. Let me heal in peace please" Why am I even sorry. I wipe a tear from the side of my cheek and walk back to our table.

We ate dessert and left.

"thanks for joining us for dinner" we bid goodbyes as we walk into our house and I go straight to my bedroom only to slump down on the bed.
Why does she always come back it's not that hard to let me be and for once atleast try to be without her.

I try and try she just comes back and thinks I will love her in a heartbeat. People would die to have a relationship with Olivia sure I was one of them.

But I'm not sure if I am anymore. Even though she's one of the few people that can pull me back and feel like I'm actually worth to be loved. She makes me feel those things that people describes in movies.

What if I don't want to feel like in the movies what if I wanna be alone. But the truth is I don't I wanna feel like I'm special I want someone to take care of and someone to take care of me.
But it sure doesn't feel like I'm supposed to be someone's special someone. I want someone to look at me and just smile like I was the only person that matter.

Olivia is someone who made me feel like while we're dating. Her smile lights up a hole room and when she laughs it's like music to the ears.
Maybe just maybe I still like her but what if it all happens again and she leaves me once more cause she 'needs to focus on her career' and leaves me there sad and angry at not only her but also myself cause I though that even with long distance I wasn't enough for her.

I'm just Jayden she's Olivia...

A:N/ I have writers block hmm anyway have a good day x