Behind Every Lie [Completed]

TRUTH 30

AURELIA HEREDIA

"Aidan." Bugsong-bugsong damdamin ang sumanib sistema ko.

Mahigpit kong hinawakan ang cellphone. I held my phone tightly until my fingers trembled.

"Aidan..." Sa pag-utas ko ng kanyang pangalan ay ang paghulog din ng mga butil ng luha sa pisngi ko.

"Aidan..." Slowly, the pills I was holding fell to the sink.

"Aidan..." I closed my eyes until I could feel my chest slowly tightening.

["Hey... baby."] He greeted me softly on the other line.

Ilang beses akong tumango na parang nakikita niya kahit hindi naman.

Aidan... I couldn't help but utter his name in my mind again. Aidan... parang sirang-plaka ay nagpatuloy ako.

"Aidan." Slowly, a small smile crept into my lips. Sa pagngiti ko ay ang pagbuhos ulit ng mga luha ko. And he listened, he listened to me like he understands everything that I was feeling.

Pain, regret, agony, suffering... I wanted to make him feel all those too, so he could fully understand me... and never leave me.

Ngunit, sino ba ako? Who am I in his life to be that selfish?

["How are you doing?"] mahina niyang tanong sa akin.

I covered my mouth with my hands. Sa pagsinghap ko ay ang unti-unti rin na pagkalma ng puso ko.

"I-I'm fine," pagsisinungaling ko sa kanya.

I heard him sigh on the other line.

["I'm fine, too,"] he answered as if I would believe him. Ngunit, nararamdaman ko mismo ang panlilinlang niya.

Just like what I am doing to him and what he probably feels, too.

We've been living in so many lies that sometimes, it would seem like the truth, too.

"W-Why did you call?" Tahimik ko na pinahiran ang mga nagbabadyang luha sa aking mga pisngi.

Akala ko nakalimutan na niya ako. His brothers probably told him that I'm alive and it was all Anthony's stunt... like how it usually is. Baka alam na niya sa oras na nagpatulong ako kay Andrias. But I've always wondered... why he never came for me.

["Why do you think I called?"]

Natahimik lang ako dahil sa sagot niya. It doesn't seem like he knows what is going on with me. Pero alam ko na hindi ito totoo. Andrias has been helping me, Adonis and Adjer, too. I'm sure he heard from them.

Kaya siguro hindi siya nag-alala.

But if I were in his place, I couldn't endure being away...