He Got Deja Vu

Twenty

"D-Don't leave, p-please..."

Every time I go to work, he's always like this. Begging me to stay.

We started living together in his condo. My parents agreed and understood what happened.

I badly want to stay with him, but I need my job... I love my job.

Sa three days na foundation day ay 'di ako pumasok sa trabaho. Ngayon ay balik aral na ulit kaya kailangan ko na rin magtrabaho at maghabol ng mga gagawin.

We're in the kitchen, he's in front of me, looking sad.

Tapos na rin kami kumain at ililigpit ko na lang. Hindi nga rin siya masyadong nagkakain. I cooked our breakfast since he's not waking up early these past few days.

I sighed and stood up. Lumapit ako sa kanya at hinawakan ang magkabilang pisngi niya at hinarap sa 'kin iyon.

"Uuwi rin ako agad, hmm?" I said in a sweet manner.

He suddenly hugged me. His head is on my tummy. "Promise, huh? Babe?" he pleased like a child.

I stroke his hair. "Of course. I promise, babe..." I looked at the clock, "I have to go."

Kumalas din siya at niligpit ko muna ang pinagkainan. "Ako na maghuhugas," he uttered.

Lumingon ako sa kanya na tumayo mula sa pagkakaupo. "Male-late ka," he gave me a big smile.

He went near me and kissed my forehead. "I love you," I blinked because of the sudden words!

I chuckled lowly at tumingala sa kanya. "I love you too, my Jagger..."

Minsan na lang niya ito ginagawa sa akin simula nang mawala si Tito Julio.

"Okay," I smiled at him before going out.

I didn't left him since his father's death. But still, I felt like he's still sad even though I'm here.

I mean, yeah, of course, who wouldn't be, right?

Kaya lang minsan ay paiba-iba siya ng mood.

I woke up in the middle of the night, hearing his cries and sobs.

Sometimes, he's staring for too long on an object. Minsan naman sa mini balcony ng unit niya, roon siya tunatambay at nakatingin lang sa malayo. He looked hopeless.

Minsan tinatanong ko sarili ko, am I caging him too much?

Baka kailangan niya munang mapag-isa?

But I can't leave him.

Siya na mismo nagsabi na 'wag akong umalis.

Maybe, it's still hard to accept what happened. It was all of a sudden. Parang kailan lang noong magkakasama pa kami ng kanyang Daddy.

Parang kailan lang noong nakikita ko pa ang mga ngiti ni Tito Julio at naririnig ang mga tawa niya't mga biro sa amin.

He's also losing interests in his usual activities. He doesn't want to go on gym anymore.

I took a tricycle. Hindi ko pa maasikaso 'yung driver's license ko. Maybe, next week.