He Got Deja Vu

Epilogue pt. II

"Kung m-makangiti ka, p-parang h-hindi mo 'ko sinaktan..." I sarcastically said and laughed despite the throbbing of my heart.

I tried my best to show him that I am fine. But my tears couldn't help but to escape from my eyes.

His eyes softened and was about to go near me but I stepped back.

"Don't show me your face again," I said firmly and walked away. I heard him called my name but I did not bother to look at my 'could have been' again.

I just enjoyed my best friend's wedding.

Masaya ako para sa kanya. Sobra.

Kaya lang, hindi ko maiwasang mainggit.

Kailan ko kaya 'yan mararanasan? Kailan ko mararanasan magkaroon ng karamay habambuhay?

Kailan ko mahahanap ang taong hindi na ako sasaktan muli?

Gabi na nang matapos ang event. "Congrats, Brina!" I hugged her tight.

Nang bumitaw ay bumaling ako sa kanyang asawa at bumati rin. "Congrats! Alagaan at mahalin mo ang Brina ko, ha?" I uttered, smiling.

"Don't make her cry," I muttered. A tear escaped from my eyes.

Brina hushed. "Sis! Ako dapat umiiyak!" She chuckled and embraced me again.

"Someday, Erica... In His will, ibibigay Niya rin ang sa 'yo... Trust His plans, hmm?" Brina reminded me.

Laking pasasalamat ko na mayroon akong kaibigan na tulad niya. Ang hirap niyang palawalan, sa totoo lang.

But I have to. May sarili siyang buhay at 'di naman pwede na lagi na lang akong dagdah sa bagahe niya.

I have to move forward to grow.

"Bilisan niyong gumawa ng bata para may aalagaan ako," I whispered to her and chuckled.

Days have passed but my hear lived in the past again.

Akala ko ba move on na, Erica?! Three years in different countries, wala man lang improvement?

Ano na, ikukulong ko na naman ba sarili ko sa masakit na kahapon?

I picked up my phone on my table. I went to my contacts and searched his name. I... haven't deleted his numbr yet...

Minsan ko na lamang nagagamit ang phone ko noong nasa ibang bansa ako. Madalas, ginagamit ko lang 'to sa pagkuha ng pictures.

I was about to delete his number but the sudden realization hits me. How could I move on if I'm living with my past... My past without answers.

Siguro kapag nahanap ko na ang sagot... pwede na. Kaya ko na. Wala na ang mga sakit, pero mananatili na lang ang mga masasakit na alaala bilang history naming dalawa.

I tried calling his number. It took me five rings before deciding to end it. Maybe he's using a different number now.

It's been years. He had probably moved on.

I mentally cursed when his name appeared on my screen. I inhaled deeply.

[Erica? Was it you?] he asked from the line.

I tsked. "Yup," I answered shortly.

[How... are you?] he asked, sounded reluctant.

I bit my tonge. "I want to talk to you. I want to be free from this pain," I said.

[O-Okay. Where do you want us to talk?] he asked gently.

"Kingston's Cafe. Tomorrow, 9 AM. If you're free." I shrugged my shoulders.